Wondering When I've had enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wondering When I've had enough?
10
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 5:25pm
You know the saying...you are only given what you can handle....

When you scream you cannot take anymore, doesn't anyone listen?

Trying to amicably get out of this marriage is impossible. He will

fight me on every little thing. He is purposely (in my mind) trying to

drive me over the edge.

I never knew anyone could be so mean and heartless. I just want out.

I have offered to give up all claims of support for myself and the

boys if that's what it takes...I just need him gone. I fell like I am

in a H**l that will never go away.

I'm really not all that great...he can move on and have a good life.

But the stubborn man wants me. I no longer want any part of this.

I need a break.............Alanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 7:37pm
((((Alanna))) I wish I could genuinely snitch a few of your burdens. I know how hard you worked to keep your marriage together, and now ending it is such a trial. I imagine it is never easy to end any relationship.

I know that feeling of saying: "OK, now really...I can't take much more"

All you can do is try. TRY each and every day.

Ways to try:

Come here...and get support

Read self help books

Come here and get more support. lol

I hope you know how lucky this board is to have you!

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa

Co-CL Depression Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 9:55pm

(((((((((((((((((((((Alanna)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I don't know if it will help or not, but when I get to that point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 8:12am

I have to agree with Trac on this one Alanna,


You tried being nice, now its time to take care of YOU!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 12:23pm
Thanks for the support girls. It really means alot.

The problem is he can be cruel to the point that I cannot take it.

Emotionally he can wrap me in knots with a smile on his face. He only

cares about himself. He will quit his job and run or go on welfare if

I try to be "not nice". He has done it over the years when I wanted out.

He will wake me at all hours to tell me how things will be. He will lie to

the boys about me and how much he wants our family but Mommy doesn't. He will

open the doors and let my animals loose. He will call my family at all hours and

hang up when he wakes them. He will spend all the money and smile about it.

How can my stupid, sweet natured self compete?????? I went to church the last two weeks

and the people there must have thought I was crazy as I sat there and cried.

Begged for Him to help with the burden because I couldn't take anymore.

I want to say fine....you win...here I am...dying slowly with everyday in

a miserable life but at least you win.

Alanna

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 4:29pm
* a bump for advice please*
Alanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 5:11pm

Alanna,

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. Do you have any support or family around which could help you walk away from this?

I live in Alaska and I was in a relationship for 11yrs and I was not happy anymore with all that went on between us. One morning something triggered a part of me and I took my kids and my self at 8 am in the morning and left. This has now been 1 yr.
We do try to be friends now but I still think the past can not be repaired due to all the damage over the years. I had no one here but friends and my children and I did it.

I think you should really find a way to get out if you are in so much pain. Just think that this is by no means healthy for your CHILDREN, him , or you sweetheart.

Take care, and best wishes to you
Bettina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 5:24pm

I know it isn't healthy. I do not have the financial means
to get out yet. Family is all 6 hrs plus away. The only
"friend" I had is the one he had the affair with 10 years ago.

He will fight for the kids if I take them anywhere. I wanted to
move to the next province with my only sister but he says no way.
I need to win the lottery.

I have an interview tomorrow(second one) with the company I want
to work for. It would give me enough to support me and the boys. I
have to plan on no support from him so I won't be left high and dry.

I just feel isolated right now as he is doing his best to make sure I am.
I even told him to let me go peacefully or I would end up hating him.
He just doesn't get it or want to. He thinks I'll cave in. But I can't
this time. I feel like I'm fighting for my life here.
Alanna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 5:52pm
just a thought for you, if you really want out seek help from your local woman's battered shelter. i had to do this and met a bunch of wonderful woman who knew how to get your out of a situation like this. even if he is not abusing you physically it sounds as if this guy is a real ***, controlling and verbally abusive. best of luck to you and your children

mommadukesliz (liz)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 6:28pm

Alana,

Oh I'm so speechless here! I wish I could tell you everything will be fine but I don’t know that it will anytime real soon anyways. I know that it can be so hard being somewhere you don’t want to be. All I can tell you is to keep your head up high, and DO NOT GIVE UP!

WE are here for you as much as we can and people here really care a lot so just know that we are here for you. Just have hope and don’t let him make you give up and put you down. I know my children’s father says mom left” yes but I'm happier now then I have been in along time. I would love to tell you all about that at some point so then you will know you are not alone we or some of us have been here too. Just be careful and make sure you check in with us so we know you are ok.

Love,
Bettina

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 7:05pm

Sweetie, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Alanna))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I think him trying to isolate you is only just his last ditch effort at trying to get his way.