NEED ADVISE

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
NEED ADVISE
3
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 3:12am
Hi-I'm new to this but I don't know what else to do. I have to grown sons-who won't speak to me and my future daughter in law wrote me a letter and said I'm not to send my 2 yr old grandson any cards or gifts and that I'm a bad mother. I'm totally crushed... they lived in my home for seven months and then suddenly moved out... I've been so sad... we lost our youngest grandson of 5 months to cancer back in May and it seems ever since then everything that can go wrong has.. I wrote a letter to both of my sons, but they never replied. I was going to send a nasty note back to my future daughter in law, but I don't want to stoop to her level and because she is pregnant. if anyone has advise on what to do next please let me know... thank so much for listening to me....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: nanawolff
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 8:08am

Hi Nana


Im so sorry for the loss of your grandson.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
In reply to: nanawolff
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:31am

Thanks for writing Caly!

The reason my son and daughter in law moved out was beacause my handicapped mother lives with me and my husband and she became seriously ill in June. My son came home and came into the garage and started to cuss me out and said I shouldn't talk to my mother about everything... Me and my mom are finally close after so many years of me not being able to talk to her... anyway, the medics radioed for the police to respond, because my son was causing problems, so I only told him to leave before the police showed up-because I knew they would arrest him for interferring with my mothers care. so then my daughter in law came up the drive and said "we're being blamed for this" meaning my mother getting ill. and I said nobody is blaming anyone. They pulled away and that was the last time I saw them. I did absolutely nothing wrong -but yet I'm the bad one...
Then to find out that my oldest son's wife sent my sister in law pictures of my deceased grandson when he was born.. and some other pictures of him .. this really hurt me too. I'm the grandmother and I only got one picture of him when he was 3 months old. I have been so upset with this whole situation... I try and try and nothing seems to be good enough for my sons. they are 24 yrs old and 20 yrs old. I would do anything for them and love them unconditionaly- but they seem not to love or care about me anymore... I still don't know what to do.... my husband worries about me all the time.. and we are having christmas at our house this year for the family, but my youngest son and family stated in my daughter in laws letter that they will not be here because I don't know what "family" is... well thanks for listening... I have no friends, until now...

thanks again for answering me...
nana

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: nanawolff
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 6:05am

Hi Nana


YOU have done nothing wrong, so stop blaming yourself.

*hugs