another day -- why? triggers...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
another day -- why? triggers...
3
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:15am
I am home sick again with the flu, which I am pretty sure is starting to also become strep throat. I don't have health insurance. there is nothing I can do but be sick.

i still haven't gotten the answers that i need so badly from the bf. i don't understand why he threw me away. he doesn't seem to care how his actions affect others anymore. it hurts me because i know it is because he is grieving over his mom's death and i have wanted to help him all along. i have stuck by him no matter what and this is how i get treated. his selfishness doesn't make it hurt any less. it hurts more since i would have done anything for him. yes, it makes me angry, but it hurts more.

i am too weak right now to do anything but sit or lay down. i can't sleep. there is no distraction. every time my phone rings or i get a new email my heart jumps with anticipation. its just another letdown-- just another telemarketer or spam. i just hope i keep getting sicker so it all ends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:03am
Seya,

I know its hard to have supported someone and to be left with no answers. Im giving you all the hugs you need. I hope your flu and strep go away soon.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Roxanne

Lexapro 10 mg

Avatar for jukie33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:04am

Sweety its not because of his Mom's death its because he is a USER. He replaced you with someone that could move him to Colorado. You deserve better. One day you will find that person! I think I saw it on this board that the only man to cry over is the one that will never make you cry. God has better plans for you than to let that USER stay in your life. Now reach deep inside you AND KNOW that you are beautiful and sincere and loving and WORTH more than being treated like this! Just from your posts I can see how loving and gentle you are.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 1:00pm
Please don’t think all negative. I know that heartache can be the worst pain sometimes to have but you need to remember all the other people that care about you. I don’t know all that happened with you and your bf, but I just lost a friend that I started to fall in love with and the pain is non stop from the time I wake till I go to sleep at night. I don’t know how to stop it but I do know I still have others that care for me so I can not give up.

I think sometimes life throws challenges at us to see how much we can handle and this is one of them. I think this is something which will make us stronger in the long run even with the pain we are feeling now. PLEASE don’t give up you never know he may or may not come back but if he does not then this will be the challenge for you.

I miss my friend all day I think WHY WHY WHY ? I just hope with some time I will get passed this since I will never get my answer but I do know it helps to talk about it. So we are here to listen and stand by you ok. I really know what it is like to wait for that call each time the phone rings and each time I break down when it is not him but in time that will get easier so I HOPE.

Take care,

Bettina