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| Wed, 11-17-2004 - 12:42am |
I'm losing my mind. I had the day off from work and I had planned to get a bunch of things accomplished. Well, did I? No. Instead, today I was a complete mess. I was happy one minute, upset the next, almost in tears and it kept going like that all day. And I am still like that. I feel like a complete failure and a huge disappointment. My fiance left me, I'm up to my head in bills, I'm losing my mind, I can't see my therapist til Dec and half the time I can't make my appointments due to work. I need to work. I can't miss work even though I kind of have been, but not that much. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of losing my job, being broke, homeless. And my really good guy friend moved in with me. He is so awesome. He stopped me from taking the pills one night. He moved in and is basically taking over the half of the bills from my ex. But before he moved in I kind of didn't pay much I was in a I don't care mode. So the crappy part is that I did all this to myself. I just want to cry and disappear into a dark hole. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore. I want it all to stop and go away. I'm sorry, I'm just losing my mind and didn't know where else to turn. Its almost 1 am and this has been going on all day. I feel like I am such a bother to my guy friend, even though he is trying to be there for me right now. And quite honestly I feel like I am bothering all of you, and I feel guilty.

mommadukesliz (liz)
Hey there Welcome!
You are not "bothering" us at all!
*hugs