The ultimate failure - TRIGGERS
Find a Conversation
The ultimate failure - TRIGGERS
| Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:04pm |
I have 3 beautiful children that I have been raising alone since my divorce 5 years ago.
| Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:04pm |
I have 3 beautiful children that I have been raising alone since my divorce 5 years ago.
Pages
((((((((((BIG TIGHT HUGS FOGGY))))))))))
Please don't feel as though you are a failure to your son, you are not a failure (((HUGS))) we do the best we can, we really do. I had the exact same problem with my nine year old, he started acting out at about age six, it was such a struggle, I can't count how many times I broke down it was so hard ((on top of the depression)). He started getting in trouble at school with fighting and acting out in class, it seemed like the school was constantly phoning me, at home he would not listen to me and most of the time he was pretty rude unless of course his father was close by, it seemed as though my own son hated me most of the time, it tore me up pretty bad, I couldn't figure out what I was doing so wrong. I took him to the doctor I just couldn't deal with it no more, I actually thought I was going crazy. They did a series of test on him and it turned out he has ADHA "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder" and ODD "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". I'm not trying to imply that your son has this but if you are at wits end it wouldn't hurt to maybe just check it out. My son has been on meds for a couple of months now and I see a tremendous change in his behaviour he is so much easier to deal with. The school phoned me last week to tell me how well he is behaving ( it was so nice), and there has been a big improvement in his school work. Things are far from perfect but it's getting better, I could not live the way it was before with him. Please hang in there and remember you are good mother and a good person and you will make it through this. (((((HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR SON)))). Let me know how things go.
-DONNA- :o)
WHOOAAAAAAA! Stop right there my friend!
*hugs
Thank you for the hugs Donna.
(((Caly))) my very special friend...........thank you.
((((((((((((((Traci))))))))))) It's Ting here. I've been following your posts and wanted to add in another perspective on your son. This just came to me when I read that this has happened within the past month. I'm wondering if all of the recent changes in your household have something to do with his behavior, especially your mom's increased drinking and the death of your father. Just a thought. It's good that you are discussing this with your T and it may be that your son needs a couple of T visits to sort out what's going on if you're open to that.
At any rate, you are NOT a failure. Sounds like this is just a big bump in the road with him. Please don't give up!
Ting![]()
(((Traci)))) I believe your friends, that you are a wonderful Mom.
Sounds like you have a very independent minded son. Maybe he knows that with three girls in the household, that HE is in fact the MAN of the house. What would happen if, even at this early age, you began to treat him more like a man and less like a boy? Ask him for his opinions on little things like what brand of peanut butter to buy, or what he thinks is a cool car, or what he thinks of Eminem, or what movie you should rent next. Make him feel like he is the boss in some matters. :)
By now beginning to see the man in the body of this 8 year old kid that you love very much, you have the opportunity mold him into a man who is decisive and who can make good decisions, a man with integrity, a man who has the humility to see and admit his own weaknesses and do something about them, a man who cares for his mother and sisters and protect them from harm, a man who is loyal, passionate, and conscience driven. And this, girl, would be the ultimate success.
Picture the responsible adult that he is destined to be 8 to 10 years from now and realize that this responsible adult is already in this young boy's body now. It's just a matter of bringing it out. Kids grow to become what we expect of them.
http://psychknight.blogspot.com
((((((Foggy))))))))
I feel that on every post I say the same thing (I know what you are talking about). I have a similar problem also but was not sure if I could post it here or if I should go to the single parenting board?
I have two children girl 2 and boy 9. I have been separated from their father for a little over a year now. It is so hard to get him to respect me. He does not want to listen unless it somehow benefits him (staying the night, computer games ect) and he does not pull half the attitude with his Father like he does me.
So here is my advice and by no means am I an expert on parenting at all. I have raised mine the best I knew how without any help or guidance from anyone. I think as single parents we do a great job just by being single and alone because that is one HARD job and more stress then most can handle so if you have came this far do not doubt you’re parenting now. YOU have done wonderful! Children test us in all ways and it is up to us to let them know who is in charge.
1) Put your foot down.
2) Stick by what you say (no TV) then no TV
3) Do not let him disrespect you
4) Take privileges away
5) Be STRONG you are the parent
One thing I have been told in the past is that I need to not be my child’s friend I need to be their parent. I have no Idea if this is helping you or not but I hope it does. Please e-mail me if you want to talk more about parenting because I know I have so many questions and issue’s I need help with. It is so hard when we do it alone.
GOOOD LUCKKKKKKK
Bettina
(((Ting))) ya know, I hadn't even considered the changes you referred to.
(((Lisa))) thank you.
Pages