sorry if i offended hurt upset everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
sorry if i offended hurt upset everyone!
4
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 9:36am

I am sorry if I hurt or upset anyone or everyone here the other day..

I am just going thru a very tough time at the moment not with being depressed or manic or any of those things I am actually in high spirits and llife is somewhat good..
I am just going thru a tough time with the family I have mentioned about going into treatment to you all for my ED I told my mom a month ago about it I confessed I was honest I bared my heart and soul I cried to her ect...and what did she do!!! she called me after all was said and done the thorn in her side that hurt alot..and then she just ignored it all never mentioned it again said at one point htat night that she thought something was up but she didnt want to say anything cause she "knows how I get" what does that mean I have been stable for a ong time now not major mood swings no going off the deep end having a tantrum my therapist thinks that it her way of dealing with it dont mention it and it will go away it wont exist but in her doing that it makes me feel like I do not exist..
My sister thinks that me going away to PA for treatment is extreme that I dont need it but I know that I have to go to the renfrew center and be away from it all not being able to take my diet pills water pills laxatives ect..if I do day treatment it wont stop me from working out everyday and taking my pils cause once I leave there I can do what I want in the mornings I can take my pills and they wont know..
so at the moment I am so lacking support from my family and that hurts so much, that and the fact that I went to the doctor got weighed in 109 pounds 109 how can I have an ED it I am that big so why get treatment...
So anyways I am just hurt not from you all but from home and I am sorry that I took it out on you guys I really am that was uncalled for when I wrote the post I was in a state of mind where it was all spinning in my head and I wanted to scream at my family but instead I took it out on you all and I am so sorry for that..everyone here has been great over the past year..thank you all and once again I am sorry.
Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 10:26am

Erin: I wish the very best for you. I can sure understand about having less than ideal family support, was working on a letter to my Mom and 2 sisters just last night at therapy telling them what I need to hear from them, a letter that I will never have the guts to mail.

So take care of yourself, search your heart and listen to the experts you trust about your ED. Sending you many hugs, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 10:26am

((((Erin))))


I can only speak for myself, but no harm done, glad you are still with us!


I totally identify with not getting support from family. Mothers - UGH! My mother is a bit narcissitic and whenever I tell her something, she manages to turn it around to be about her ("when you hurt, I hurt" or "I know I haven't been a good mother"). Makes me very reluctant now to tell her what is going on with me. But since I'm still somewhat enmeshed, I do, and then regret it afterwards. Have you ever seen "Postcards from the Edge"? It is one of my favorite movies - the quintessential dysfunctional mother/daughter movie and it's funny! I watch it whenever my mom is driving me crazy (LOL!) - I highly recommend it.


Families always want to downplay our diseases, especially mental health issues, because they think it is a reflection on them. And so often they may try to convince us that we aren't as "sick" as we really are, or try to talk us out of getting the help we really need.

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:20pm

((((((BIG HUGS ERIN))))))

Don't even worry about it. Just know we will always be here for you no matter what. Please take care of your self and remember how important you are. :o)

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 2:14pm

(((Erin))) You are not hurting nor are you offending us.