Can I Just die Now?**Triggers**

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Can I Just die Now?**Triggers**
4
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 3:43pm

I am can't stop crying... I don't know what to do anymore. This is the email my mother sent me today and I dunno what I should do.

I am not sure when you will get this email, however, I believe you are ignoring my phone calls, or nobody has told you that I have left messages for you to call me back. Either way this is my next best thing.
So, do YOU really not want me around for either the baby or you Felicia?
Just because we are having differences does not mean I quit being a mother and that I don't have the right to know what is going on with my daughter or my grandchild. You not telling me or wanting me to know what is going on Felicia is WRONG.
I have the right to know what is going on.
How would you feel if the shoes were on the other feet? Think about for a while. Really? How would you feel if I had said the same thing including calling the security if you showed up? Let me know what You think?
I can not believe that you have let Della of all people to get in between us.
If you truly do not want me to come to the hospital or do absolutely nothing for you let me know and I will vanish for life. Yes Felicia for LIFE . If that is what you want. I will move out of state and you will not hear from me again. Its your choice. Your choice not Della's, Dawns, or even Mark. I am your mother not there's. Della for that matter never gave a crap about her mother and it seems as though she has taught you well how stay away.
I didn't email to do all this however, I am very upset on top of other things that you did not want me to know what was going on. Not to mention that you will call security if I show up ( at the hospital)? Has it got to this point Felicia? I don't want to come this hospital and have to deal with all my enemies at once and that is everyone there as well as Della. I am not going or do not want to go if there is going to be a problem with You. If you want me there Felicia I will be there. I just don't want Della there at all. I can handle everybody else. Especially if they just leave me alone.
I hope this isn't going to be what I am afraid of. If so, I will send one last email and that will be it.
I will always love you Felicia!
Love Always,
Mom

She has called me more than 4 times in the last 24 hrs. and I am terrified to talk to her. My mother in law is telling me to not put myself back into her (my moms) little trap but that's my own mother. Should I try to talk things out or should I let her my mom know how bad she hurt me by not even replying? I dunno what to do. She is my weak spot and I dunno how to handle her and I think that's why I am so scared. I am to the point to where I wanna go to sleep and never even think about waking up again but I know I can't do that because of my dear husband and this baby in which I am about to give birth to. I am in pain and I have been in pre term labor since Monday and I am so agitated. I can't sleep or even barely eat anything and I know that's not healthy. I need help from an angel. My husband is so over protective over me right now and if I tell him that my mother is trying to call, he is going to fly off the handle because he knows how much stress this situation has put on me and I can't blame him. I need desperate help. I am still lost. I am so sorry for ramblin' but I feel like all of you are the only people who will litsen to me and I can't thank you enough. Please, I need advice!

Things can only go down so Far until they have to come back up.....

*Fighting for a Reason..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 4:35pm

Sweetheart I think that RIGHT now you need to NOT worry about your mother. I know it is hard and I don’t know all that is going on with you and your mother, but you are having a BABY sweetie…. If your mother is doing this right now while you are in labor ect then I'm sorry to say this but she is a very selfish individual and that is not someone you need in your life.

If this is truly putting stress on you then LEAVE it alone you don’t need that right now. All you need to think about is that little baby which will be in your arms Soon and love you ALWAYS like noon e else can. My children made my world complete and I never could imagine life without them.

Please I know it is not easy but what ever you need to do.
1 Turn off your phone
2 Block her e-mail
3 Have the nurse throw all her mess away
Like I said I don’t know everything but maybe write back and let her know that you WILL NOT deal with her right now your are having a child. LEAVE it at that say no more if she will not respect that then you do not need a mother like that… We are here for you! Good luck with the little one.

Has she/he slowed movements down yet or is he/she still moving around a lot?? I so excited for you. It is so wonderful the first time you hold them. Oh I remember it like yesterday. Mine are 3 and 9 now!! Talk to you soon

Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 7:37pm

I agree, you need to tell your mother that right now is NOT the time to deal with any of this. And that you will sort it all out later when you feel up to it. Now you need to concentrate on your child and yourself. If she wants to come to the hospital, let her, but only if she behaves and make that perfectly clear.

How exciting......just wait til you hold your new baby. It's so wonderful. I have 3 little girls.

Hugs Ilka



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anonymous user
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 8:40pm
Hi Felicia. I dont know your situation too well but it sounds like you happen to be in the middle of some negative relationships and ppl. I think first of all look out for yourself, no matter what other ppl think. Also maybe telling your husband about the situation will help you take off a load. I really cant give you too much advice as I dont know what exactly what is going on, but I hope this helps. Take care of yourself and your family. Also I want to say CONGRATULATIONS on soon having a baby!! It sounds like you have a great family. Sometimes I think we need to just filter out the ppl who are pure negative presences in our lives, or at least not let them be around us more than we can bare. I hope this helps, and wish you a fast & painless delivery! Take care
Avatar for mumontherun
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 9:52am

Dear Felicia,

I must agree with the other posters that you need to take care of yourself right now and try not to worry about anything else. Preterm labour is already stressful for you and and your baby, and the last thing either of you needs is more stress. I think that getting in touch w/ your mother via email (NOT phone) is a good idea. Tell her that you cannot deal with this issue right now, as you must take it easy. Then, block her address and do not take her calls. Tell her that if she wants to see you and her grandchild, she will have to respect your rules and not contact you until you contact her. I know this sounds harsh, but honestly, for your sake and that of your unborn child, you will have to be strong and protect yourself. I am glad that your dh and your mil are so supportive.

I am very excited for you! You don't say how far along you are, but I hope that you are near the end of your pregnancy and that your baby will be ready for the world when he/she comes. I'm sending you lots of healthy delivery thoughts!!

Love, Nicola