Pregnant and depressed.....
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| Sat, 11-20-2004 - 9:40am |
First of all, my husband recently moved out of the house and left me 5 months pregnant with my 2 boys ages 10 and 3. I've never felt so alone or scared in my life.
I've suffered from depression most of my life. It started in my teens. I was taking anti depressants before I got pregnant but had to quit taking them when I got pregnant.
All I do is stay on the couch or in the bed crying and worrying. Right now I hate my life. I feel sorry for my kids having to see their mother go thru this and also watching their dad walk out on us.
I don't understand what I did to deserve this. I was a good wife to my husband and I love and miss him so much. Now that I'm pregnant I need him more than anything. I'm so lonely and scared of what the future holds for us. It sure isn't looking good.
I hate feeling like this.
Cecia

Cecia,
I'm so sorry that you are going through this; it must be extremely stressful. Does your dh have issues with having another child? Will he go to couples counselling? You really shouldn't have to go through this alone; I hope you have support from friends and family.
Just quickly, here's a very good website w/ info about medications and pregnancy. There are meds that are okay to take when you're pg. If they don't answer your question on the site, you can call them:
http://www.motherisk.org
Congratulations on the new little life you're carrying; I'm sure that he/she will bring you great joy despite all this.
Love, Nicola
I don't know what to say that could possibly ease your pain. I just wanted to let you know I heard you and I prayed for you. Just really wanting you to know that I am here to listen.
Julie
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Thank you girls for the kind words.
My husband started acting wierd right after I found out I was pregnant. He started staying out and not coming home. Sometimes I wonder if he doesn't wont this baby??? He has nothing to do with our 2 boys either. My 3 yr. old just asked about his daddy. I have no idea where he is???? I hate seeing the kids hurt. I can't even get excited about the baby coming. Thats how depressed I am. I no theres safe med.s during pregnancy but I really dont like the idea of taking them while pregnant. I've been on several different med.s and have had bad side effects from them. As soon as the babys born I will be going back on my med.s. In the meantime I have got to find ways to cope. I dont have any friends but I do have some family, but, I just feel like they've got there on lifes to live. I feel like I'm a burden to everybody. Sometimes life can be soooooo cruel.
Cecia
Cecia,
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Thanks Julie. Today I feel a little better. I got up this morning and went to church, the first time I've went in months. It felt so good to be back in church and everyone was so nice to me. I even had the preacher pray for my family. Whether my husband cares about us or not, there is others out here who care about me and my kids. I'm so glad that today was a little brighter for me. I think the baby could tell I was feeling better cause he sure was kicking alot today....LOL.
Cecia
I am so happy you went to church! That shows strength and courage on your part. I am so glad your church was supportive! It really makes a difference when you're trying to rebuild your life to have a good support system in place. Plus it's good for the kids to have some familiar things still happening in their lives. Pray without ceasing dear friend. Prayer not only changes things it changes us meanwhile.
I think it is so wonderful about the baby kicking and showing he/she is there and happy. New life reminds us what is important. You are going through an intensely hard time but the strength and courage you are showing says you're gonna make it!
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