just need some support (triggers)
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just need some support (triggers)
| Sun, 11-21-2004 - 10:54pm |
...and I can't believe how hard it still is to say that! of course, the caretaker in me wants to be there for everyone else, but heaven forbid I may need help myself.
i am just so tired of this. my life on the outside is great (i.e. job, home,

All I can say is I know your pain. Sometimes just the self medicating feels good because at least you can forget for while. I've changed medications so many times. I am on Cyumbalta, Lexapro, ADD medication, and medication for panic attacks. I couldn't believe this but the other night I had one just when I got in the bed. I felt like I was having a heart attack then I thought it might be indigestion because I have to take Nexium and I have I.B.S. which worsenes with each depression episode. Anyway I tried Pepto Bis. then it still didn't go away and I had my anixety pills. It went away. It's a hard way to live. I wish you the best.
Diane
Hi, Sue,
I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now...I'm glad you posted to share...it seems like you're doing some really healthy (but hard, of course) things to keep yourself on the right path. I know what you mean about feeling as though your issues are not important...but you've gone through some hard things, especially with your life partner...and even without those difficulties, as you said, depression and bipolar II can make life feel unbearable sometimes anyway.
As I guess you know by now, I can really relate to how you're feeling...please keep reaching out and doing whatever it takes to make it through until the depression starts to subside. I'll be hoping that it does very soon.
Hugs,
Rose
Dear Sue: I hope you slept well and that today can indeed be a better day, you work on mondays, don't you? So maybe keeping busy will help you some too.
In some ways, your plate is so much fuller than mine, I guess I am lucky and just have depression and anxiety, and my current Effexor helps keep both of those at bay most of the time.
My worst added demon is food! There are days when just as an alcoholic finds solace in drinking, I could so much better deal with life if I could just pull my chair up to the frig and indulge. And the pulmonologist adding prednisone last june, well, that is NOT a good thing at all as it has played havoc with my metabolism and intensified my appetite, so I am trying really hard not to HATE myself for the weight gain. I tried eating a lot less and all I got was headaches, weakness, crankiness, remember the HALT philosophy and I didn't lose an ounce of weight! So figured, hey, I might as well eat if I am going to see the higher numbers on the scale.
Sorry to ramble on about me, when I am reaching out to you. I am glad you have a good pdoc, do you think flying to join your Dad and family is making it worse for you this time of the year? I know for me it is a delicate balance sometimes, when it is just dh and I and I hear others are getting together with their families, I feel kinda lonely, yet when we do get together with family, that stresses me out too, no win situation sometimes.
Know that I am here for you! I so wish we lived in the same town and could do 12 step meetings together! Sending you a big hug and lots of love, Josie.
Thanks Diane, Rose, and Josie for your replies and support.
Josie - food is a drug for me too! I've gained about 100 pounds over the past two years, and some of it is because of the medications, but some of it is how I eat for comfort - especially ice cream!
So far today was a little better, but i can always hold it together for work - we'll see how this evening goes. Just to add to my overall glum attitude, I developed an itchy rash today, and of course my fear is that it is the dreaded "Lamictal rash" and I'm going to have to stop it after all of these weeks of gradually raising the dose, and start from scratch with something else. of course, i'm not doing too well on a therapeutic dose, so maybe it's time to switch anyway. I see my pdoc tomorrow, for which i am very glad because i have to sort out how i'm going to deal with a large family reunion in Texas this weekend. I love my family, but they really have no idea how badly things have been lately.
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Hi Sue. I just want to send you my support & BIG HUGS, a SMILE :) and a rose @-}---
You are a great person & u truly inspire me a lot. I hope things are going better for you, HUGS