I just want 2b happy,Why is it so hard?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
I just want 2b happy,Why is it so hard?
13
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 11:41am
I have this picture in my head of what I wish for. Its not unrealistic and it is attainable. I want a simple life in the sense that I live the best that I can & live my life & be content with myself. In my mind it is so simple, for example: Just go to school & do my hmk, go to work & do my job, see my friends when I can, spend time with my family, plan my wedding(finally), get up each morning so I have time to have breakfast & shower & wake up, be a nice person & be friendly, you know the usual stuff of day to day life. Sometimes I want excitement, and when problems arise I would like to know how to handle them wisely & not dwell. Why is it so hard to live simply like this? I know life throws a lot of curve balls, so I just wish I knew how to handle them & use them to the best advantage..but of course life doesnt really happen this way.
In reality, Im always late, always tired, forgetting appointments or putting things off, dwelling on the worst case scenarios and not dealing with situations very well, spiraling downwards and after reaching the bottom I just push up so I reach a certain height just so that I can spiral down again. Why is it so hard to be happy?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 12:09pm

((((((((((((((((((((((((Sweetie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I don't know why it is so hard for those of us with depression to be happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 12:17pm
You pose some great questions! I wish I could tell you I had the answers, but I too am searching for all those things.

I am sending hugs your way sweetie!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 2:07pm

Hi...you really do pose some great questions and I wish I knew the answers to them too! I am the SAME way you are...I know what I want...and I know logically that its not HARD to get up early enough in the morning to shower, eat a healthy breakfast, get ready for work, and wake up...its not HARD to go for a walk after dinner...its not HARD to maintain friendships...it shouldn't be THIS HARD to function in the normal world! But it is for me...yes, I have a disorder, but I dont want to use my Bipolar disorder as a crutch! I'm a normal person...I just have an illness. My mood swings are really extreme and I never know how I'm going to feel...but I have to really put forth more effort. I have to.

Thank you so much for that post...you made so much sense to me and I wish I could help YOU feel better. Just know that I hear you and you aren't alone!

Hugs,

Keli

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 6:28pm
Thank you all SOO SOO much, really. Sometimes I really feel like Im alone, and I have these thoughts about what Id like to be like. I dont understand why it has to be so difficult to achieve even the simplest dreams, and finding that Im not alone one is really uplifting to me. I would never want anyone else to feel this way, but just knowing that Im not crazy or lazy is encouraging lol.
Keli, you mirror my thoughts right on the mark. Things can make complete sense, but still seem nearly unattainable.
I also find that there is always someone I know or have seen or whatever, that I just find to be this ideal image of how Id like to be. The great thing is that these ppl dont appear "perfect", but deal with things so positively & just have this aura about them...I wish I was like that.
Well once again I thank you all, and please keep sharing b/c I think it helps us all to "talk" about it. Love u all @-}---
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 6:32pm

(((idreamy))) I so don't know why it is so hard. But being here makes it less hard. Or at least I think so. Happiness is not the easy bundle that the movies and TV makes it out to be.

You are right, why is it hard to handle the curve balls? I think the powers that are out there are testing us at every turn. But we have survived so far.

Somedays you must simply come to a warm place (here) and get some hugs.

((((((idreamy))))))

No magic words of advice, just some unconditional caring. How's that??

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Co-CL Depression Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 1:58am

firstly, i dreamy, your life is not "just simple." u have a lot going on.
u r attending school and u have hw. and now u r planning a wedding. omg, such
STRESSSSSS! stress leads to depression. no wonder u r depressed.
a wedding should be a wonderful and happy
time in your life, but planning it involves so much stress that it overcomes
the happiness that will eventually shine at the end.

make yourself a small list, a tiny list of chores to do everyday.
and do not think ab. the huuuge pic.
if u think ab. the big pic. all the time, u will continue to be
depressed. i know that this works cuz i planned 5 major affairs, and they
went smoothly w/o too much stress...a few things to do everyday, and i
delegated ppl to help me... good idea??

i used to have a few things to do everyday, which i would write
in my engagement calendar, and i was fine w/ that, but when i would look
at the entire calendar, i would freak out seeing it completely full.hahhahaha
so, now, i just look at the actual day, and i can deal w/ that

good luck and feel well
kitties

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 10:57am

As someone who has finally found Happiness, I think I maybe add a bit here.


I think its hard for us to be happy sometimes because of what we think Happiness is.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 11:01am

Hey there...I know what you mean...I know people who really seem to "have it all together"...and I'm like, why can't I have that??? I have all the "pieces" I need...I just can't get them to fit in the RIGHT places. Its very frustrating to say the least. Like last night for example...I had to go care for my mom...but got home around 9:00...was totally exhausted...fell out on the couch...didn't do ANYTHING else...fell asleep...didn't wake up this morning until 8:00 which is when I'm supposed to be at work...what in the heck is wrong with me???? That's PLENTY of sleep. So then, I had to put my makeup on in the car...and right in the middle of it, I have a flat tire...UGH! So I get to work laterrrrr...LOL.

I have to get myself together and get on the ball. I'm 34 years old and have a freaking teenage son. At least you're a lot younger than I am and in school. I do work full time at a great job...but still. I wish I could go back to school to do something I really love. But at 34? It would take me forever to get a degree...and then I get scared (ugh, hate that word) that my bipolar would flair back up...

Sorry to ramble on and on here...

Hugs hon!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 12:23pm
First get yourself checked out to make sure you do not have a medical reason for depression. Second remember nothing in life is easy. If it were we would all be beautiful super models, living our fantasy lives. It is going to take dedication and determination to get what you want. Question is how bad do you want it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 12:59pm

Hi Caly. I know we've never "met". But I know you well...LOL! I've lurked here on this board and the LL board for a long time, just don't much here, and haven't yet posted on the LL board. I just wanted you to know that you are so awesome and such an inspiration to me.

Your words are so true, just hard to always keep in mind when things are really bad.

I just wanted to say hi and let you know much you mean to everyone.

Thank you.

Keli

Pages