Help Please?/Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Help Please?/Update
4
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 2:48pm

Hi everyone,

Last time I was here (November 12th), I was updating you on trying to find a psychologist. That finally got resolved, just not the way I was hoping for.

I finally got a hold of someone from the clinic I was referred to by my new doctor, and she told me that they don’t have psychologists there. So, being fed up with it taking well over 2 weeks just to find this out, I called my doctor and left a message explaining the situation and asking for another referral.

It took a week to get a call back, and it was the receptionist who called instead. I talked to her and told her the problem and she gave me a name of a psychologist my doctor thought would be good for me. So, I asked just to make sure, “is this covered under my Medicare card because I am unemployed and have no money.” She said no, and that she would ask the doctor for another person who is and call me back.

A few hours later it’s the receptionist again, she tells me this time that my doctor says there is no psychologist that's covered under Medicare and I must pay for it. I told her thank you for giving me this information, but the whole point of asking for the referral was to find someone I wouldn’t have to pay for. I told her to have a good day and hung up the phone.

Well, at this point I am so beyond stressed and frustrated. I need someone to talk to and no matter what I do; I can’t seem to find that. I can’t keep loading this on to my boyfriend, he has enough to worry about that it’s not fair.

So I came on here looking for some advice or anything really. I’m just so mentally tired, I can’t get my life on track, the only thing that seems to be going ok is my new “lifestyle” I guess you’d call it, that I’m doing in the “Getting Fit in Your 20’s” board.

There are just so many problems with my family that aren’t getting resolved and keep bothering me. I can’t stop thinking about past events, no matter what I do to distract myself. I’ve tried so hard to get past my two sexual assaults from when I was 14 and 16, but can’t. It’s even affecting my sex life. My boyfriend and I have not been intimate for well over 2 months and it’s driving both of us crazy. We’ve tried several times, but I keep getting upset and crying or I just tense up and it hurts too much to do anything.

I’m sorry if no one wanted to know that, but I really need to get this stuff out. My boyfriend knows everything about all of my past experiences and everything, except for what happened during my sexual assaults. I’ve tried to tell him, but I just can’t seem to get the words out, I just break down anytime the topic comes up.

Can someone please recommend something I can do to not feel this way anymore? The only time I seem to have any kind of peace is when I’m on my walks, but that’s because I’m too busy looking at the houses wishing that we had a place of our own instead of this apartment.

Anyway, I’m really sorry that this is so long and that I am bothering everyone with this. It’s just that I feel like I have no one, and it’s pretty much true. I have not met anyone or made any new friends since moving here, and can’t talk to any of my old ones about this because they don’t know about my past and I’d like to keep it that way.

Sorry again for the bother everyone, but any kind of response would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks and have a great day.

Bamboo


 
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 3:21pm

(((bamboo)))

I don't know the right words to tell you right now, but I do want you to know that someone is here, listening to you every step of the way. I am so so sorry you're having a difficult time right now.

Congratulations on your big step towards a healthier lifestyle with the participation in "Getting fit in your 20s". I also participate in that forum ;), though I haven't been "getting fit" lately at all.

I'm sure you will get a lot of suggestions about finding an affordable therapist from the ladies on this board. I just want to say that we're here for you, good luck, and hang in there.

Feel free to email me anytime: nightshadebelladonna@excite.com - we could exchange sn if you would like to chat one on one. I'm normally around, if it would help out.

Take care of yourself,
~Bethany~
Trying to make it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 5:49pm

First, you have every right to be frustrated. I am a card carrying member of that club. If you haven't insurance there are many places that you pay on what is called a sliding scale. Fundamentally you pay what you can sort of afford. There are places to go to through local churches. Lastly, there are community based places.

But if you are looking for other alternatives you can try to read the book that Caly's doc recommended.

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think
By Dennis Greenberger, and Christine Padesky

It can help. It has helped me. It may help you.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Co-CL Depression Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 7:30pm

<<<<<>>>>>

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time dealing with all your stress. I'm not sure I will have the answers that you are seeking. I do want you to know that you are not bothering us at all this is why we are all on here on this board to help each other.

I don’t know much about sexual assault but if I'm not mistaken I think that ivillage does have a support board for that. I wish I could give you advice on this topic but I don’t know enough about it to do that. I think you should see if you can find a doctor or a therapist that you could talk to about that. I know that at times it is very hard to let go of your past. I know that I still to this day live with a lot of my child hood issues but I try and remember that those things are over now and I can protect myself which I could not do then. I know it is VERY hard to talk about things that truly hurt but the pain will not go away on its own you will need to open up to some one at some time to help you get past it.

I think that you are a strong person and you need to at least try and make a new beginning for your self and your bf. We are here and feel free to sent an e-mail if it is something you don’t want to post. Just know we are all here to support each other.

Take care,
Bettina

Avatar for jukie33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 7:57pm

Bamboo,