did i coerce my pdoc??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
did i coerce my pdoc??
9
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 5:05pm

I'm so upset and frustrated I don't know what to do. I'm getting what seems like opposite messages from my AA sponsor and my therapist, and I've been trying to achieve a happy medium because I think each of them give valuable input, but yesterday I just wanted to scream (luckily I'm at my dad's, so their are some distractions here).

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 5:37pm
(((((Sue))))), with due respect to your sponsor, it doesn't sound as if your pdoc felt coerced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 6:31pm

I hope that you are doing all right, and I'm sorry that you don't like the holidays. I don't like the holidays sometimes either, especially when I'm sick like I am right now. I tend to get even more depressed when I'm sick. I don't really know what to say about the medication. I'm currently taking 30 mg of Prozac daily, and it's been working out pretty well for me. I took Zoloft for over a year before that, but Prozac has just worked out a lot better for me. I really hope that you get everything sorted out.

Lots of love and hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 6:50pm

I agree with Mary...nothing that you did sounds manipulative or coercive to me. You were honest with your pdoc about your symptoms and your concerns, which sounds like a very healthy and good way of dealing with things.

I can understand the idea of trying to "give it away to a HP," but it seems like that idea could be taken too far. How does that saying go..."grant me the the serenity to accept what I cannot change; the courage to change what I can; and the wisdom to know the difference" (or something like that). In this case, it seems like you were doing your best to change what you could...just accepting it would have been counter-productive since there was something you and your pdoc could do about it.

I'm not sure if that makes any sense at all, sorry! But you have my support...and the holidays are hard for me as well, so I can relate...

Hugs,

Rose

Edit: I found something on a 12-steps website that seems to explain what I was trying to say, in relation to the Serenity Prayer:

"It is not just about learning to let go and learning courage. It is about knowing *when* to fight for change, and *when* to learn to live with what is.

In other words, blind acceptance of everything is not a virtue any more than indiscriminate fighting is. There is a time and place for each."




Edited 11/25/2004 6:52 pm ET ET by rosa444
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 7:15pm

You didnt coerce anyone Sue!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 9:53pm
Thanks everyone for your input. Rose, i like that quote - I may give it to my sponsor to put in the monthly newsletter! (LOL) I know where to go with this with my pdoc/tdoc and intend to talk to him about it on Tuesday, but I'm still not sure how to respond to my sponsor - I love her and know that she loves me and is doing the best she can to give me guidance in staying sober and living a sober life. When I called her from Texas tonight, i got the feeling that she really didn't want to talk to me - and I realized that is how she comes across a lot. I'm not sure if she is even aware of it, or if it was a bad time - but of course I'm sure it is renting much more space in my head than hers! She said she really thought I was going to bail out on this trip, etc, which didn't sit well with me. And I went from a relatively good mood to feeling like crying again. I take everything SO personally. Anyway, maybe it's good that I'm away for a few days. I just need to let it go for now.

peace and love,


just_a_big_kid


Sue

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 3:36am

Dear Sue: I am joining in late, but I agree with all the others and you didn't force your doc to do anything. In today's world, all patients need to take an active role in any type of therapy, mental or physical, and you being a Dr that is doubly true.

I never had an actual sponsor, the home alanon group I started with, they don't do that per se, and I have been getting along ok then when I also go to a different group and they mentioned it once, I didn't jump on it and ask anyone.

Search your heart, and open up to your current sponsor, perhaps it is time to part your ways and chooose a different sponsor, maybe you having mental health issues on top of no longer drinking is more than she can handle. As they say, take what you need and leave the rest. And I loved Rose quoting the serenity prayer, that is so true, and very sweet of Rose to look up that web site and all.

I hope you have a nice visit with your family. Take care, hugs and much love, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 2:00pm

Thanks Josie for your support. I really need it right now, as well as the other wonderful voices of reason on this board (yes, we do have valuable input for each other despite having depression).

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

Avatar for markshay
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 2:46pm
Sue, As I read your first post, I was thinking that you should be proud of yourself for sticking up for yourself and taking control! Those who do NOT live inside of our bodies can not dictate how we should feel and sometimes it takes a little more assertiveness for those on the outside to understand how we are feeling. If you doctor really felt that agreeing to your suggestion was the wrong thing, they certainly would not have done it. They would have given you another direction to go in and the fact that they said that if you felt better within a couple of hours says to me that they thought there was some possibility that it was the withdrawals. Maybe the sponsor is looking at it from a stand point of the withdrawal being a "bad" thing or a slip in the wrong direction and felt that your asking for permission to go back on was an avoidance of following the AA plan (making sense?, lol), and that the doctor agreeing to it was a bad thing and that you had asked was not right (from the standpoint of addictions). But in the standpoint of trying to feel better using a permissible drug and it being decreased too quickly is not a bad thing and you reaching out to your doctor and making it very clear that you were very troubled by it is a good thing! Give yourself a big pat on the back for 1. taking care of yourself, 2. for being assertive, 3. for going thru the proper channels and not relying on past behaviors! I don't know what to tell you about your sponsor, maybe just give her some time, could be she's having a rough time right now and needs a little time to think thru the situation some more. In the mean time, try not to worry about it or else you will drive yourself nuts, :-). Have a great weekend and be proud of yourself for taking control of your disease and having the guts to stand up for yourself. You did not after all hold a gun to the dr.'s head and demand the drug of choice..... Have a great visit with your family.
Sandra.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 6:28pm

Thanks Sandra, and it's not like I was asking to restart somthing that makes me feel high,

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid