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| Wed, 12-01-2004 - 1:52am |
hi to all and i just can not thank all of you for kind thoughts and reply to me during this time of need.
i saw him last night for the last time and i feel apart his body was frezzing cold but his hair was as soft as i remember it being. i begged him to wake up but he would not listen to me i told him im here now and i will stay but he just would not wake up whyyyyy.. i love him so much and this pain i can not take anymore.my family had to take me to see doctor last night but im fine i just was not strong enough for this to handle. i have never seen anyone sleep as deep as he did. he looked the same only he did not wake up for me why not i just want hjim back... i will give anything for someone to make him wake up and come back to me please girls please bring him back to me. i know that someone can do this for me becasue i cant hanlde this i need him in my life i will stay in germany with him so he wont be alone. i tried to stay with him last night so he would not be so cold and alone but they would not let me they made me leave him there all alone. how could they take me away from him becasue i know he wanted me to stay with him he loves me so much and i know that he needs me. oh girls i jsut cant deal with this anymore the pain is eating away at me the only time im at peacenow is when i sleep and as soon as i wake it starts over again. why do i wake up but he does not whyyyyyyyy please bring him back to me please what do i have to do for someone to do that for me that is all i want now him back.........he is so handsome laying there he looked so at peace but i need him here i need my brother... i love you all and thank you so much for being here for me it does touch my heart of what is left of it.
bettina
i saw him last night for the last time and i feel apart his body was frezzing cold but his hair was as soft as i remember it being. i begged him to wake up but he would not listen to me i told him im here now and i will stay but he just would not wake up whyyyyy.. i love him so much and this pain i can not take anymore.my family had to take me to see doctor last night but im fine i just was not strong enough for this to handle. i have never seen anyone sleep as deep as he did. he looked the same only he did not wake up for me why not i just want hjim back... i will give anything for someone to make him wake up and come back to me please girls please bring him back to me. i know that someone can do this for me becasue i cant hanlde this i need him in my life i will stay in germany with him so he wont be alone. i tried to stay with him last night so he would not be so cold and alone but they would not let me they made me leave him there all alone. how could they take me away from him becasue i know he wanted me to stay with him he loves me so much and i know that he needs me. oh girls i jsut cant deal with this anymore the pain is eating away at me the only time im at peacenow is when i sleep and as soon as i wake it starts over again. why do i wake up but he does not whyyyyyyyy please bring him back to me please what do i have to do for someone to do that for me that is all i want now him back.........he is so handsome laying there he looked so at peace but i need him here i need my brother... i love you all and thank you so much for being here for me it does touch my heart of what is left of it.
bettina

Bettina: I don't know what to say, except may God get you through this very difficult time, and I hope you have people in person to also talk to besides us on the board, whether it is family or friends or a good therapist.
take care, sending you much love and many hugs, Josie.
(((((Bettina))))), I felt the same thing when my daughter died.
((((Bettina))))
I wish there was some way for me to help lessen your sorrow and grief, but all I can say as that you and your family are in my prayers. The only way I got through my life partner's suicide was the realization that she was in so much pain here on earth and that she is in a better place now. But I know how painful this is. Please know that I am here for you and thinking of you and praying for you every day. Please take care of yourself and allow others to care for you in this time of need.
Lots of love,
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Dearest Bettina,
I am so very sorry to hear what you are going through. But I want to thank you for opening your heart and telling us all how you feel, as a survivor of a family member's suicide. I have thought so many times of killing myself, and it is really important for me to know how it feels for those left behind. So thank you for sharing that.
I hope that God will bless you and send you and your family peace and strength. It is okay to mourn, and it will be so hard for the next little while, but it will get better, even if it won't ever go away.
With much love,
Nicola