Relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Relationships
4
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 3:19am

HI again everyone. I just wanted to say something to the girls who were talking about having a relationship. Wanting to be in one, wanting that special someone in their lives. I know how all of you feel, I was there for many many years. Thats all I wanted was for someone to just love me. I want to share with you what I learned from my own experience. In my 20s I looked long and hard for a "boyfriend". I did anything to make them like me. Then I started going to couseling, started building self esteem, having a better out look on life. Started worrying about ME and my son more then getting a boyfriend. Then one day my cousin introduced me to a guy I had no interest in, 3 yrs later we married. We've all heard it before, dont try so hard!! But I truly believe that when we are mentally ready for that relationship, God will send him. If we arent ready and that person enters our lives, it wont last because we are emotionally unhealthy to keep it. Just like me and my husband right now, im back to my unhealthy state and our relationship is hurting, maybe it wont last. only time will tell, thats why im here to try and get healthy again.

Well thats all I wanted to say, I really hope you all are doing well. I pray for everyone everynight. You all take care!!

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 3:33am

Thanks for posting thismorning. It's really helped me a great deal thismorning. I'm currently going through a tough emitional state. I'm extremly lonely and I tried of being alone. I'm upset with God for allowing me to have these feelings. The person I love is not in a position to love me because they have emtional/depressive issues of their own however that does not stop me from loving him and it becoming all consuming. I also want a child but the odds of me having a child are slim to none.

Why are the odds slim? Because this is something I want more than anything at this point but I know God will not grant it because I'm single and just because.

I'm sorry, your post did help however I'm in such a poor place right now I'm not sure what to do. I'm thing of calling the suicide hot line just to get me though but I'm not sure because the overwhelming feeling I have is to just give up. However the good news is I don't have a plan. I've attempted numerous times in my past and I know not to try those things again because they were ineffective and plus they HURT!!

Hope to talk to you and others soon.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 10:24am
WOW....
thank you so much for posting that message it hit home with me...
I have been single for two or so years and I was the type of person that was always with a man in a relationship and then BAM..it was all gone and I continued to make bad choices but I do believe in what you said that if you are not mentally ready then there wont be a healthy relationship but once we are mentally healthy and ready then the "one" will come to us..
I think that is why I am finally ready to go into treatment and focus on me and not worry about the outside world for a while..
anyways I just wanted to thank you for that post.
Erin
Avatar for jukie33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 10:47am
I think if you're thinking of hurting yourself you should call the hotline.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 4:42pm

I totally agree.

Christine

CL