Tomorrow triggers
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Tomorrow triggers
| Thu, 12-02-2004 - 3:27pm |
hi to all who are reading this and thank you again for all of the replys i have gotten and prayers from you these past few days which seem like weeks.
last night my father talked to my brother in prayer as i did the last time i saw him and i asked my brother that if he is at peace now to led me know and i will let him go as my father did. my brother came to me in my sleep last night and held me so tight i could harldey breath and told me to let him go now... some may think im crazy or what ever but it is true i promise you that. i woke up crying so loud my father woke and i told him and he did belive me for he asked my brother to help me through this because this was really killing me inside and i was about to break down.
now i did decide last night that i will let him go for he (MY BROTHER)asked me to let him go. this does not mean i will not cry again becasue i will and i will still have pain and sorrow. i will aslo never stop missing him and loving him NEVER. i love my brother more then i can ever explain to anyone. today i went to a place where my brother and i spend a great deal of our child hood (orphanage)a place were kids have no where else to go, only we were ok because we had each other and now he will still be with me from above. i thnk by going there it really brought a little peace to me as i went to the church we used to go to as kids also.
tomorrow is ther funeral and this will be the MOST painful anyone could ever imagine. i ask you to think of me and my family and say a little prayer to help us through this time of sorrow.
for those who ever thought of suicide please e-mail me anytime i will let you know about the pain that is left behind. always know that your pain mabe gone but you are passing all your pain to your loved once. take care to all
love bettina
last night my father talked to my brother in prayer as i did the last time i saw him and i asked my brother that if he is at peace now to led me know and i will let him go as my father did. my brother came to me in my sleep last night and held me so tight i could harldey breath and told me to let him go now... some may think im crazy or what ever but it is true i promise you that. i woke up crying so loud my father woke and i told him and he did belive me for he asked my brother to help me through this because this was really killing me inside and i was about to break down.
now i did decide last night that i will let him go for he (MY BROTHER)asked me to let him go. this does not mean i will not cry again becasue i will and i will still have pain and sorrow. i will aslo never stop missing him and loving him NEVER. i love my brother more then i can ever explain to anyone. today i went to a place where my brother and i spend a great deal of our child hood (orphanage)a place were kids have no where else to go, only we were ok because we had each other and now he will still be with me from above. i thnk by going there it really brought a little peace to me as i went to the church we used to go to as kids also.
tomorrow is ther funeral and this will be the MOST painful anyone could ever imagine. i ask you to think of me and my family and say a little prayer to help us through this time of sorrow.
for those who ever thought of suicide please e-mail me anytime i will let you know about the pain that is left behind. always know that your pain mabe gone but you are passing all your pain to your loved once. take care to all
love bettina

My heart goes out to you and your family in this time of sorrow..
I do not know what it is like to loose a sibling but I do know what it is like to loose someone that you love and want nothing in the world but to have them back with you..
I believe in your dream I do I have had dreams like that in my life and I do think that your brother was reaching out to you in your unconscience mind he wanted you to know that he is okay that it is okay to let his spirit move on cause if you dont he will never be at peace..his soul wont move onto the next world..I know that it is so hard to let go of the ones that we love but sometimes that is what we need to do in order to be okay in this life..I know for me with my aunt(she basically raised me) she passed away Feb 25, 1995 almost ten years and I still cry when I think of her feb is not a great month for me and that is my b-day month also I let my aunt go a little bit but not much I am afraid to foget even though I know in my heart I wont forget..ever..
My friend Keith passed away Sept 21, 2003 and i still think of him its funny cause this year on the 14th of Sept (that is bhis birthday he would have been 29) the song that I listened to aftr I heard he passed on (I listened to it continuesly for days on end) came on the television and I had not heard that sone on t.v. ever and on his b-day there is was playing on the t.v. and I just smiled and said happy birthday and cried a bit..but you see even though people are not here with us in the flesh they are here with us in other ways in out memories in our hearts minds souls they are all around us when we are cold they warm us up when we are sad they make us laugh I know you probably think I am nuts but trust me on this your brother will be with you always dont ever forget that.
Please take care of yourself..
Erin