Don't know what to do anymore!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Don't know what to do anymore!!!!!!!!
1
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 1:22am

well this may get to be a little long. well I have to sons ages 20 and 24-neither one is speaking to me- the youngest moved out unexpectedly in june with his pregnant girlfriend and two year old son. my oldest son and wife lost their baby boy of 5 months to cancer in may.

I have done everything possible for the kids and in the long run-I'm always the one getting blamed for something.

well my daughter in law emailed me and suggested I call my oldest son.

I got the courage to call him this evening and ever since I talked to him I've been sobbing and crying... he stated that no one has ever done anything for him nor has been there for him.. then he lays a whammy on me-that he received an anonymous letter a few months back stating that his father is not his father. I gave birth to him when I was only 15 years old- I was young - but I know who his father is and now he wants myself,his dad and him to pay for a paternity test and he said if it comes out that his dad is not his- well then he will never speak to me again......I know the anonymous letter came from my youngest sons' relatives- because they like me living in hell all the days of my life.

His wife's family has influence too.... even though they threw my daughter in law out when she turned 18 and we helped them move and they even stayed with me. I know he lost his son- and it can't be easy and I even told him that I don't know what he is going thru. then we are having christmas at my house this year for my current in laws and I asked if they were going to come and he said "nope" it's his day and won't be here...
I was always there for him - I've had a lot of medical problems- but he was never there for me and even though it may sound selfish - I just want love from my kids and understanding as I've given them. but nothing works.. Please Help..this will be the worst holidays ever..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 7:25am

Hi Nana


Im soo sorry things are so rough right now. Why is it when Kids get to be in their 20s they suddenly think they know it all and dont need anyone?

*hugs