Holiday Blues!
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Holiday Blues!
| Fri, 12-03-2004 - 10:47pm |
I HATE THE HOLIDAYS! I do not know how I am am going to make it through the holidays this year. I love to decorate, nbut have no energy to do so and my house is a mess. There are famly conflicts. There is a BIG conflict about we will spend Christmas Day. I do not have many friends so we do not go to Christmas parties,etc.
There is a terrible conflict between my sister and my family.I am confused an conflicted because I love her yet she has hurt me. I als know that she has very severe emotional problems but she does not realize se has them.She would become very angry if anyone tried to tell her.
I have anxiety attacks when I go into big stores.which does not matter too much since I do not have a lot of money for gifts.
I work in retail and this time of year is hard.I am distracted and this week my drawer was short twice and had to re-pay the money so I would not get fired.
I realized I am having "memory blanks" and cannot remember I a lot of things I start to do.
This week has been horrible and am fightng to try to keep it together,I just wish I could die or that the world would go away.I want to hurt myself.I do not think I would do anything of these things because I love my son too much,but it sometimes it feels like it would be a relief to do so.
My psychiatrist staarted me on Lexapro in addition to my other medications,he also suggested fish oil and light thearapy.
I was so depressed that I had to call my therapist on Tuesday when I had just seen her on Monday.I started crying hysterically when I began to write Christmas card.,I even cry atthings that are supposed to be funny.
This week I also have been having migraines, sromach cramps and IBs symptoms.All i ant to do is stay in bed.I have o force myself to get up and do anything>I AM SO TIRED!
My therpaist andpsychiatrist are very supportive and they tell me to call themwhenever I need to call.My primary care doctor is also supportive and lets me e-mail him when I get upset.
I hate to feel so depressed when "everyone" is supposed to be filled with holiday happiness.
By the time Christmas come, I am so sick of hearing Christmas commercials and saying :Happy Holidays>'
I used to like Christmas. I still like sending cards and ecorating with my angei collection.Thanks for listening. Fran
There is a terrible conflict between my sister and my family.I am confused an conflicted because I love her yet she has hurt me. I als know that she has very severe emotional problems but she does not realize se has them.She would become very angry if anyone tried to tell her.
I have anxiety attacks when I go into big stores.which does not matter too much since I do not have a lot of money for gifts.
I work in retail and this time of year is hard.I am distracted and this week my drawer was short twice and had to re-pay the money so I would not get fired.
I realized I am having "memory blanks" and cannot remember I a lot of things I start to do.
This week has been horrible and am fightng to try to keep it together,I just wish I could die or that the world would go away.I want to hurt myself.I do not think I would do anything of these things because I love my son too much,but it sometimes it feels like it would be a relief to do so.
My psychiatrist staarted me on Lexapro in addition to my other medications,he also suggested fish oil and light thearapy.
I was so depressed that I had to call my therapist on Tuesday when I had just seen her on Monday.I started crying hysterically when I began to write Christmas card.,I even cry atthings that are supposed to be funny.
This week I also have been having migraines, sromach cramps and IBs symptoms.All i ant to do is stay in bed.I have o force myself to get up and do anything>I AM SO TIRED!
My therpaist andpsychiatrist are very supportive and they tell me to call themwhenever I need to call.My primary care doctor is also supportive and lets me e-mail him when I get upset.
I hate to feel so depressed when "everyone" is supposed to be filled with holiday happiness.
By the time Christmas come, I am so sick of hearing Christmas commercials and saying :Happy Holidays>'
I used to like Christmas. I still like sending cards and ecorating with my angei collection.Thanks for listening. Fran

Fran: I know this might not sound funny, but my one sister who works at the service desk at Kohl's, when I said after writing her on email, I was going to go to my mental health board as we try and support each other here, she wrote back asking if anyone was in retail and is stretched to their limits, so I can imagine, working in retail this time of the year is NOT fun in any stretch of the imagination, even if one didn't have depression on top of it.
Same sister called me last night, 30 minutes later on the phone, NOT sure if I helped or not, but we also in my very small family are having a tug of war on whose house Dec 25th will be at. There is 4 households of us and we are spread out from the NE corner of Ohio to the SW corner of Ohio, and Mom is being unreasonable thinking people can be at her house on Dec 24th, when there is NO way that can happen. So I used what I have learned in therapy, and working the 12 steps with Alanon to try and help my sister, not sure I did, but I think so as she was in tears and ended up not in tears.
That is helpful that you can call upon your doctor and therapist if you need too, mine is that thoughtful also.
Not knowing all the issues with your family, my vote is, decide what will make you happy on Dec 25th, and go for it. My best thanksgiving ever this past one was just me and dh, went out to eat, then had fun times at home together alone. So don't think you have to fulfill some must do holiday traditions, do what you want to do.
not sure I am helping, but know we are here for you, and being in retail at this time of the year sucks, no doubt about that. Hugs, Josie.