totally gone!!!!!!
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 12-04-2004 - 10:43am |
hello everyone, this is my first post here. i am so happy i have found this site. if i can be happy about anything at this point in my life. i think i have totally lost myself. i have been going through a divorce for about 2 months, had my 47th birthday yeatarday, spent all alone on my couch crying most of the day. for the last several weeks i have done nothing but lay on my couch, cry, having every muscle in my body tensed up, not even able to go out of my home now. i have been on 150 mg zoloft for 7-8 years. but i feel like i have lost it lately. it is all i can do to feed my little maltese, much less myself, or shower, brush my teeth, put on clean clothes or anything else that takes any effort. and i am supposed to be getting ready to move out of my home, (sold in divorce), by the 5th of january. i can't even think about that. it is soooo overwhelming to just think about it. i start thinking, someone will just have to pick me up and carry me out of here. i am a pretty intellegent person, or used to be, but i don't know this person i have become. i cry everyday, don't leave my home, and too many other feelings to mention. i need some help or advise on how i can get myself up enough to get to my doc. i know my med is not working well. someone help, please.
thank you,
sunny

((((Sunny))))
As in the previous post, take some baby steps. Is there any way you can get on the phone with your pdoc to let him/her know what is going on? He/she may have some suggestions on how to get up the strength to get to the office and discuss your pain and medication. You are on a
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sunny))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I know how you are feeling, I went through the same thing at my divorce.
HELLO CL-TRACARTS,
THANK U SO MUCH FOR REPLYING. I AM JUST NOW FEELING LIKE GETTING ON MY COMPUTER. IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ABLE TO CHAT WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT. I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND ASHAMED. I AM SUCH A STRONG PERSON, BUT I HAVEN'T THE ENERGY OR AMBITION TO DO ANYTHING IN THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, EXCEPT CRY EVERYDAY, AND I'M NOT A CRYER, THAT IS ANOTHER THING THAT IS SO WEIRD. ALSO, SATURDAY I FELT BETTER THAN I HAVE FELT IN WEEKS. I GOT REALLY EXCITED, THINKING, O.K., IT IS OVER, THE GLOOM AND DOOM. BUT AS I WAS GOING TO BED LASTNIGHT, I STARTED WORRYING ABOUT HOW I WOULD FEEL WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. SURE ENOUGH, ALL I HAVE DONE IS LAY ON MY COUCH, MY BRAIN JUST WILL NOT SHUT OFF. I CAN'T SLEEP DURING THE DAY, ALTHOUGH I FEEL ALMOST DRUGGED WITH SLEEPINESS. MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T EVEN ANSWER MY PHONE, IT IS TOO HARD TO TRY TO CARRY ON A CONVERSATION.
WELL, AGAIN, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY. IT REALLY DID MAKE ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER.
SINCERELY,
SUNNY
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO REPLIED TO MY POST. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT MADE ME FEEL. I HAVE BEEN FEELING SOOO ALONE, IT WAS WONDERFUL TO SEE PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW ME, TRYING TO HELP. I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET RIGHT NOW. I AM GOING TO DO MY VERY BEST TO GET TO MY DOC MONDAY. I KNOW I HAVE TOO. IT IS JUST SCARY THINKING ABOUT TRYING A NEW MEDICATION. WILL IT SET ME BACK, WILL IT HELP. BUT. I KNOW I NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
AGAIN, THANK YOU ALL, AND CHECK BACK WITH ME SOON.
SINCERELY,
SUNNY
Sunny,
I think anyone going through a divorce would be depressed no matter how strong. I tend to be pretty tough too but I also suffer from depression. Try and make a list of small things you can do everyday that will make life a little easier when you are done.
I also suggest trying to go to the library and maybe reading some good self help book by either David Burns or Albert Ellis. I would also call your psychiatrist. I am also on a large dosage of zoloft that worked well for a long time. However, I also take neurotin for help with my anxiety and it helps so much. (the doctor tried buspar but all this did was make me sleep.) Maybe you need a new SSRI or a little something to give you a quick start like Wellbutrin. (I took this when I was very ill and was so depressed I could not put too sentences together.) There are so very many, many different medications out there today and combinations of there of. Don't suffer if you don't have to.
And my dear, stop beating up on yourself. Some of us have DONE ENTIRE years without doing much because of depression let alone a few months. We got better too. :) Keep
posting!
Hugs,
S.
SELENA,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CARING THOUGHTS AND INFORMATION. I TOO HAVE SUFFERED MANYYYYYY YEARS WITH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, AND AT TIMES HAVE BEEN DOWN TO THIS LEVEL BEFORE. BUT AS I LOOK BACK, I CAN SEE MY MEDS HAVE NOT BEEN WORKING WELL FOR QUITE SOMETIME. NOT JUST A COUPLE OF MONTHS. IT'S JUST THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE SEEMED TO OPEN UP THE DOOR TO HELL. AND MY PROBLEM IS THAT, WITH SO MUCH TO DO WITHIN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS, WHICH I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO FATHOM, I AM AFRAID TRYING A NEW MED MIGHT SET ME BACK, IF IT ISN'T THE RIGHT ONE, I HAVE BEEN ON THE MERRY GO ROUND OF TRYING ANTIDEPRESSANT MEDS BEFORE. AND THE ZOLOFT HAD BEEN WORKING WELL ENOUGH FOR ME TO MAINTAIN A FAIRLY GOOD WAY OF LIFE, AND SO I HAVE JUST CONSIDERED THAT TO BE GOOD ENOUGH. BUT LATELY, I DO HAVE SCENSE ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT I CAN'T MAINTAIN AS I AM ATTEMPTING ANY LONGER. BUT I SUPPOSE, I HAVEN'T REALLY GOT ANYTHING TO LOSE BY TRYING SOME OTHER MEDS. IT IS JUST SO FRIGHTENING. EVERYTHING IS FRIGHTENING RIGHT NOW. I HAVEN'T LEFT MY HOME IN OVER A WEEK. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHY I MIGHT HAVE A COUPLE OF FAIRLY GOOD DAYS, AND THEN, BOOM, DOWN I GO AGAIN. IT IS SO CRAZY, I HAVE MADE 3 APPOINTMENTS WITH MY DOC IN THE LAST 3 WEEKS, AND I COULDN'T EVEN GET MYSELF THERE. AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYONE WHO CAN COME AND HELP ME TO GET THERE. I AM PRETTY MUCH ALONE. MY MOTHER IS SICK MOST OF THE TIME, MY SON, (25 YEARS), WELL HE JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN'T JUST GET UP AND GET GOING. HE THINKS IF I TRY HARD ENOUGH, I CAN DO IT. HE UST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK HIS MOTHER IS CRAZY. SO I DON'T GO INTO A LOT OF DETAIL.
WELL, I SUPPOSE I HAVE GONE ON LONG ENOUGH. BUT I TRULY WANT TO SAY THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR REPLY AND INFORMATION.
SINCERELY,
SUNNY
HI EVERYONE,
WELL, I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!! I MADE IT TO MY DOC YESTERDAY. HE KEPT ME ON MY ZOLOFT AND ATIVAN, BUT ADDED WELLBUTRIN XR AND PREMARIN 0.625. THE REASON FOR PREMARIN IS DUE TO THE FACT I HAD A COMPLETE HYSTORECTOMY IN 2000, AND HAVE NOT BEEN ON ANY HRT SINCE THEN. I AM AFRAID TO GET EXCITED, BUT I SURE HOPE IT WORKS. I AM ALSO A LITTLE SKEPTICAL ABOUT THE HRT, BUT HE SAID I DEFINATELY NEEDED A SMALL DOSE, THAT W/OUT IT, MANY PROBLEMS COULD ARISE ALONG WITH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY.
SO, PLEASE PREY FOR ME GIRLS, I WILL BE PREYING FOR ALL OF YOU TOO.
SINCERELY,
SUNNY
((((Sunny))))
I am SO happy for you. Hang in there and give the meds a chance.
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Melissa