viewing tomorrow triggers.
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 12-05-2004 - 1:32am |
Tommorrow is the viewing for my brother. Im not sure I want to go as it will be an open casket on monday for the services. Im torn. I know my self and I know I need some time to spend looking at him in the casket so maybe I can snap out of this denial. I still cant believe I will never see my brother walk into my house again. I just saw him a week ago. He was just with us watching harry potter and then he's gone. Im hoping with the finality of the funeral I should be able to deal with all of this. I know if I keep going like I am I will lose my mind. Its hard to believe hes gone when you think the world should stop spinning because what happened to him is such a tragedy.
Well on a bad note. His mother is still trying to make this more misreble than it has to be. Today she had a meeting with the Chaplin who will be doing the services with out my dad and mom to tell him all about Tim. Half the things she said were a lie. Like that he was a mammas boy and they were best friends. My brother hated that woman. She also conventially left out that my dad was remarried and has been for the past 15 years and also that he has 3 sisters and a fiance. So my dad had to arrange a seperate meeting to tell his side of the story. She also called up my brothers employer and demanded that the workmans comp death benifit be paid only to her and that his employer should front her the money. We are not talking about a litte bit of money. Were talking enough that this small family owned company cannot afford and besides workman comp already told my dad that they will be issuing 2 checks and 3 if his fiance qualifys for some of it. So this what we have to deal with. The only reason she even let my dad in on the planning is because she wanted him to pay for it. So We are just trying to make it thru all of this with out taking all of it out on her.
Well on a good note. For the processional they are having 20 tow trucks from around the city head up the processional with full lights going because my brother was a tow truck driver and was killed on the job by a drunk driver. I think it is awsome that all these people are willing to show up and show their support. It is greatly appreciated.
Thank you all for all your support.
Roxanne
edited to add link to obituary
http://thekansan.com/stories/120404/obi_1204040018.shtml
Edited 12/5/2004 1:42 am ET ET by kstroublegrl

(((((Roxane))))
Words cannot express the love and support I have for you. I am so glad that you feel you can share your feelings here.
You are right - the viewing can be scary. But as you said, it may be good for you to have a chance to face the reality - although denial is a normal reaction to losing a loved one. If you want to, it is OK to tell your family that you need some time alone with him, so you can grieve and express your feelings there without everyone hanging over you. You are his sister and deserve that lf it would help.
Know that we are hear to support you and are sending our prayers to you as you go through this difficult time.
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
((((((((((Roxanne)))))))))), I'm so sorry for how awful this is for you, and that Tim's mother is making it so much worse.
(((((HUGS TO YOU ROXANNE)))))
Know we are here for you during this hard time. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Donna
Roxanne
Hugs and prayers are sent your way. Life changes in an instant which makes one appreciate life even more. The viewing can be very difficult, but from my experience, it is healthy in the long run. It is a final goodbye to your loved one verses trying to avoid it.
Again, prayers, thoughts and hugs.
Mary
I'm so sorry, Roxanne...my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine having to say goodbye to a sibling, especially so suddenly...I think it's completely understandable for you not to feel ready to say goodbye. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Many hugs,
Rose
(((Roxanne))) Hugs and more hugs as you face all this.