DH is gone....(m.triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
DH is gone....(m.triggers)
7
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 9:31am

Hi ladies, sorry I haven't been around much. DH's birthday was friday. Last night his twin brother and his wife and child came up. The guys went to a party. I am really sick and had begged DH to reschedule. He refused. He went, and got home around 3am. I knew immediately he had been doing cocaine. He promised me that he wouldn't, swore even that he wouldn't. He lied and lied and lied, but finally fessed up. He left at 5am. I don't know where he is, I don't know if he's ever coming back. He told me that he hates me and hates his life. He says he sick of pretending to be something he's not. Ha, he doesn't pretend to be anything but a jerk most days.


I have two boys, I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I don't know what to do.


Samantha



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 11:32am

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 12:10pm

(((((HUGS SAMANTHA)))))

I think Mary pretty much said it all. Please take care of yourself, your children need you. You are a wonderful person and you will somehow make it through this. We are always here for you, remember that. Sending an angel to watch over you and your children. ((HUGS))

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 1:10am

Sam,

I'm so sorry! I had no idea that this was going on. Please, please, please call me, e-mail me, or instant message me absolutely any time that you need to talk! I love you!!!

~Reba

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 7:58am

Hi Samantha,


IF your husband is doing drugs like that then my suggestion would be to find some help there fast. Its only a matter of time before he gets caught anyway.


If you have family or friends I would go to them.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 9:34am

Hi Samantha!

My DH is the EXACT same way...I don't know what to do about it myself...I hate it and him a lot of days...but the really sad part is, i love him still...

I wish you only the best and much love and hugs, honey...

I'll check back with you later if you want to talk, I have AIM...

I'm kelisthabomb

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 11:34am

Samantha,

I don't know if this is an option but can you pack your bags, take your children and go
to your parents or sisters? If your husband is doing cocaine, he is a drug addict pure and simple. I have done criminal law for years and have met many, many drug addicts. Your husband will do anything to get his fix including lie, cheat and steal. If he is caught with cocaine, he can do significant jail time. There is no easy solution. Good rehab is hard to find and does not always work. I really think you and your children are better off getting away and staying away until and if your husband enters and successfully completes an in patient drug program. (complete with drug tests.) This is really tough I know but your husband is spending money you need for your baby getting high. (cocaine is not cheap.) Is your husband doing other drugs? (ie alcohol, marijuana etc.) If he is ever caught with your kids high, you risk social services getting involved and risk losing your kids. (ie has he ever been drunk or high when driving you or the kids.) Remember he will lie and say he "promises" to get better. That's easy. Hold his feet to the fire and tell him you will divorce him unless he completes an in house program. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take the kids and go to relatives or a shelter! Also, I hate to ask but has he ever been physically/emotionally abusive toward you when he was high??

I feel so bad for you!! Lots of hugs.

S.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 12:01pm

Samantha, I may not know you, but my heart goes out to you, with all that you now bear. As everyone else has said, seek out a safe and healthy place for you to go now; start calling everyone and anyone you can think of. Hopefully, in such an environment you can gather your thoughts and start organizing your next step, whatever that may be. I can't imaine how lost, confused, hurt, and probably even abandoned you must feel. I wish I could offer more than support, but please take care of yourself and your children first.

Melissa