Low and sad tonight (triggers?)
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Low and sad tonight (triggers?)
| Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:26pm |
I've been wanting to cry all aftenoon and evening, and I think I'm losing the fight.
| Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:26pm |
I've been wanting to cry all aftenoon and evening, and I think I'm losing the fight.
((((ladyirish)))) I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I have those days, weeks too. Just know that there are people here who care and who are here for you. It's so hard to deal with stuff like abuse. I, myself have gone through physical abuse from a former boyfriend, my son's sperm donor and have also been raped a few times. Stuff like that is never easy to deal with but with support we can overcome. I'm here for ya and praying for you.
Sandy
Dear Mary: sometimes for me when I get like that, a good cry is the best route, but I might try to limit it to half hour or something, curl up on a couch, then when the half hour is over, get up, wash my face and get busy with household chores, never seem to run out of them.
I know my dh has trouble grasping why my therapist and I are still talking about my childhood, but as she tried to explain it to him, you go through it, then get to the other side, and not like every week I see her we dredge it up as always seems to be enough "crap" going on in the present to talk about that too.
I don't know what all techniques your therapist uses, but the cassette tape I listen to daily is me nurturing my 13 year old, we picked that age as I attempted suicide when I was 13; also she has taught me this healing circle thing, and focusing on the current me has the "resources" to tackle or face the problems that come up, so when I flip back to unhappy memories, the current stronger me is to go back in time and comfort the 5 year old or whatever age that is/was.
But all of this is so hard, and I am definitely not done yet. And I know for me, when I keep swallowing the hershey chocolate kisses, it is because that is my drug of choice, so I try and figure out, OK, what is really going on here.
I hope you slept well, and woke up feeling better, sending you much love, Josie.
Mary
As a poet I can tell you,, you cant stop a poem from coming out.
*hugs
((((((Mary))))))
Ditto what Caly said. It is OK to write a poem about whatever is in your heart right now. Some of my best poems came from when I was in my darkest moods.
I too have buried/repressed/suppressed (whatever) feelings about Barb (my late SO), namely anger, which has never been an OK feeling for me. And 5 years later I wonder why I'm still having trouble with the holidays. Today's therapy topic is going to be my anger towards her and what she did to me, regardless of her own disease. Somehow I have to get it out in order to forgive her and move on.
Hang in there, we all love you!
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Mary,
You are being too hard on yourself. You are actually berating yourself for being depressed!! This is not logical. Depression makes us feel sad and teary. That is part of what being depressed is!!! I often cannot work when I am feeling depressed let alone write a poem!
I think you have every right to be angry with your father for what he did to you. I wonder if writing him an imaginary letter telling him WHY you are so mad might just help. I am trying to remember but he was alcoholic, right? How about going to an alanon meeting?
You are a delight and a very warm person.
S.
((((((Big hugs Mary))))))
Please don't feel lonley, we are all right here for you. Sorry about all the abuse you had to endure, it must be very difficult for you. Maybe you need to get these awful feelings out, maybe writing these things down might make you feel a bit better. Not sure what advice to give you but please remember how much your cared about, you are a wonderful person Mary.
Donna :o)
Mary, I'm so sorry I didn't notice this thread until now. You are obviously a wonderful and such giving person. But don't you deserve the right to feel deeply about things yourself? Every time I read about your life's experiences, I'm always amazed and impressed with how forward-thinking you are, and how generous you are with yourself. I admire that so very much. And it's pretty apparent that so many others think very highly of you with affection. I'm going to hope that it's a better day for you today. You so deserve that and more.
Cheers,
Melissa