nothing's working! - Triggers
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nothing's working! - Triggers
| Wed, 12-08-2004 - 6:04am |
I have been trying so hard these past few weeks. I've gotten a pdoc, I've kept my T appointments, I've gone on new meds, all of it and it's all been for nothing.



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(((((Foggy))))
Remember the posts from last night?(Other board).
Don't give up! You say you've been on the new meds for only a few weeks. I don't know what ones you started, but they may take a little longer, depending on which ones they are. Please give them a chance.
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
((((((((((Traci))))))))))))) Sue is right, maybe the meds haven't had a chance to work. It took a month for Lamictal to fully get into my system. Give your pdoc a call today and let us know what's going on. Hang in, please don't give up.
Ting![]()
Sweetie
This is so hard for me to say, but Im starting to think you may be more likely to lose your kids if you dont go in the hospital.
*hugs
(((Traci))) You are doing the best you can.
Once you're there it depends on state laws whether you can leave or not. In FLorida you could sign in and out but if the doc thought you weren't ready to get out they had a judge issue a baker act and that kept you until the doctor thought you should leave. I was stabilized within 8 days the second time i went in (the first time I went in I signed out and told them I was fine that T had over reacted) and asked to leave and was granted permission. But I really was stabilized. I fortunately had a spouse and family members who took care of my child. She just thought Mommy was sick and in the hospital. When she was finally allowed to visit in a "Family room setting" It made me hurry up and get better. I never wanted her to ever have to go through that again. Now I tell the pdoc whatever we do we do on the outside. But I really needed to be in there when I was. I had a plan to hang myself and had bought the rope. I had a plan a place and was thinking about it often. They stabilized me by adding an anti psychotic for the suicidal thoughts. Now I am on Geodon and Effexor and am pretty stable. I just don't have any get up and go.
If you really need to go in like I did find someone who could take the kids for 7-10 days. It seems like an awfully long time but its not really when your talking about getting a med into your system. I think the worse thing is having the doors lock behind you. I have never before been locked into anywhere. I know it was for unsafe patients but that scared me. It feels as if you give your power over to the pdoc totally and that is very humbling. But you know what I started liking it. Everything was neat and clean and on schedule. They kept the more unstable people in a different ward. We had group meetings during the day to teach some life skills and get feedback. I was also lucky to be in one of the nicer hospitals in the area. But that's the good thing about choosing to go in. My T at the time was going to Baker Act me if I didnt go in voluntarily and that meant the cops would come and handcuff me in front of my daughter and take me to a county run hospital, it is not a nice place. So she at least gave me the option of where I was going.
I hope you can come to a resolution about this so that you will feel better. I just thought you'd like to know some of what happened to me when I went in. I learned I am actually a lot better off than I thought. Some of the people in there couldn't get better even with years of therapy and meds. I also was assigned a social worker while in there and they had loads of good information. Things I didn't know about. Resources I didn't have until they gave me lists. Down to good books for my issues. Also going IP helps if you have a disability case pending. Or if you plan to start one. Good luck.
I would certainly ask my T and Pdoc about the rules of signing in and out for your state. And if T or Pdoc say You ARE going in then I would make sure I signed in because that will look better on you as a mother than having to be placed there against your will.
Just my thoughts and experiences.
Julie
cl-jukie33 DID/MPD
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhmpdid
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First, let me thank you all for your support.
Oh sweetie...
I'm so sorry. I know things are totally rough for you. I odn't know if it's a possibility, but is there a way that your mother (ok, not the greatest option) or someone you trust could watch your lil' ones for a weekend? Possibly a day? Maybe during that day you can focus on you...check into a motel, go for a walk, go to the library, do something that requires you not to focus on the "problems" but rather, think about you first once. I've found that that helps a whole lot, and made me a lot more sane. I knowt this sounds so cliche, however, really, it works. I wish you lived near me, and that way I could watch your angels, however, I'm in nasty Chicago...:-( Just know that I'm here for you, and always will be for moral support!
Trix ;-)
Hey -
The Lamictal is a mood stabilizer that is also a pretty good antidepressant. That is what my pdoc put me on when we realized I was Bipolar II. I don't know how long you have been on it, but you have to raise the dose slowly, some people have an early response that often goes away until they get to a therapeutic level (that was my case). I'm just now on a therapeutic dose, and my depression disappeared but now I am hypomanic again. I identify with the short fuse. I guess I still have a ways to go.
just look inside your heart and make the best choice you can, and let go of the outsome, which is really out of your control. Things usually work out much better than I expect when I face a dilemma such as yours. I hope at least some this helps
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Thanks Sue.
Traci the wellbutrin made me have a short fuse and made me have this "rabid dog" feeling. It also made me anxious and feeling like I was on speed.
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