New here, need some support please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2003
New here, need some support please!
5
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 9:32pm

Hi everyone,

I am 25 and I just got diagnosed with low grade depression, otherwise known as dysthymic disorder. I recently found a therapist who I hope can help me with the way I feel about the world around me and help me cope. After researching dysthymia, I totally agree with the diagnosis.

I am looking for support because I am in a bit of shock at the fact that I actually have depression. It always seemed like something that I didn't have, although I have always had trouble coping with what life threw at me. I think my breaking point was when I started dating someone new. I really like the guy that I am seeing, but I realize now that I need to focus on myself before giving myself to someone else. I was so afraid that he would dump me out of the blue (it has happened before!) that I was driving myself crazy! But now I realize that without really knowing who I am, liking who I am, and being able to make my own decisions, I cannot be in a successful and healthy relationship. I realized that I was using other people to take up my time, rather than spending time with myself and understanding my own thoughts and feelings. I was using people as a distraction from my sadness.

So now I need to come to terms with the fact that I have a lot of work to do on myself, and that as much as I like the guy that I am seeing, I need to put me first for a change.

I know that I may be young but I want to live a happy life. Has anyone ever been in this situation?

Thanks so much

Cristen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 9:37pm

(((((Cristen))))), welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 11:57pm
Hi Cristen,
I can understand what you're going through. I am also going through my first episode of depression. Or at least my first episode this serious. And I also am struggling with making my own decisions and getting to know who I am. It's kind of hard to admit that you don't really know yourself, and that you have a difficult time making decisions. Since I'm still going through it, I can't really tell you how to feel completely better, but I can give you some tips on what helped for me so far.
Seeing a therapist so far has really helped me. The first few sessions weren't that helpful and then something just clicked, and I think that I'm starting to get somewhere now. Also, exercising has helped me a huge deal. Often I have to force myself to go work out, but I always feel so much better when I do. I also found that reading up on depression has helped me understand what's going on. I started with a general book explaining depression. Under the category Helpful hints for hanging on there is thread titled books the board suggests. There's some great books in there from self help to fun fiction to read. If you want to get to know yourself better, you could try the book Self Matters by Dr. Phil McGraw. It kind of inspires you to think about important events, people, and decisions in your life and how it made you the person that you are today. I'm sure that there is alot of other "getting to know yourself" books out there.
Finally it helps me if I am able to recognize when I am depressed, and then do something about it instead of just sitting there feeling bad. Something like taking a walk, reading a fun book, listening to music, or taking a bath; anything to take your mind off of things for a little bit.
I hoped that I helped you a little bit!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 8:23am

Hi Cristen and WOW


Sounds like you have done a lot of work on yourself already!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 8:33am

Cristen,

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Take care,

Idealsummerluv

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 2:13pm

Cristen
I have been in that situation so many times before. But, unlike you, I never realized that I come first. I have put anyone and everyone first, so it's strange for me to think of me as number 1. But, you are doing great by realizing that. Good luck on your new passage to happiness. Wishing you the best of luck and all the support in the world.

xoxo
anne