2nd anniversary....very sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
2nd anniversary....very sad
2
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 10:29am
Well, Monday was our second wedding anniversary. Ok, we eloped, so my wedding day was nothing special. That night, we went out with DH's friends, which was certainly less than special and the next day we ended up eating at Wendy's b/c DH's brother got ahold of DH's debit card and spent $200 on drugs on our wedding night. So, I haven't had ONE oppurtunity to feel 'special'. 1st anniversary: we both had the flu. We waited till Feb. to do gifts (after we got our tax refund) and all I got was, "Here's the credit card, if you want that gym membership, go ahead and get it." I spent HOURS getting his gifts: a golf club membership, a new pitching wedge, and a flask with the St. Andrews course engraved on it, along with his initials and our wedding date. This year, I am sick, I have severe morning sickness and was in the hospital until this past Saturday (the 11th). Our anniversary was on Dec. 13. I was feeling a bit better that day. However, DH went out to lunch with his buddies from work. We were going to do lunch yesterday, but he bailed b/c they were shorthanded at work. I have yet to get a card or anything. I've been crying so much I don't think that I have any tears left. I'm not sure what to do. I told him exactly how I felt the other night, and he basically just shrugged it off. I don't know what to do, I don't want every anniversary to be like this! Samantha


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-1998
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 10:28am
Looks like from your note you have two little children and are pregnant with a third?
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. It's unfortunate but anniversaries aren't always what we see on TV. My second anniversary was horrible and I cried through dinner! However we tend to celebrate the anniversary of our first date more than our wedding anniversary.
Maybe it would be better to be able to plan something when you are feeling well and he has some time. I think you would need a babysitter!! Maybe a friend or family member might give you a few hours. I think this is also a tough time of the year for many folks. THey feel like they're supposed to be happy but they are not. I hope you have some friends you can go to for support. Unfortunately our spouses cannot always be our source of support and it sounds like you could use some. I think early pregnancy if hard. YOu are tired plus you have other small children. Your husband may also feel a little overwhelmed by all of this.
I will say some special prayers for you. I hope you can at least be happy about your family. Maybe women are unable to have children and are very sad about this. It looks like you have been fortunate in this way.
T
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 12:24pm

(((((((((Samantha))))))))))))

I'm sooo sorry (((your))) having a tough time right now. An aniversary should be special no matter what the marriage circumstances were. It's a celebration.

Is he usually more supportive? You were in the hospital, did he miss work because of this? Who took the kids? Maybe they could take them for the evening and the two of you could go out (or stay in) and have some alone time.

This is a very stressful time of the year for all of us. It sounds like you have quite a bit of added stress. Take some time for yourself and do something to pamper you (maybe the day you're going to spend the evening with dh). Maybe put the kids down for a nap, light some candles and read a book you've wanted to read, do your nails, or just take a nap. Whatever (((YOU))) want to do.

Your very special and deserve to be treated that way. If something is going on with dh and he can't do it right now do it for yourself.

In no way am I excusing him, I'm just trying not to be negative and beat up on him because I think that's the last thing (((you))) need right now. I'm sorry if I'm wrong. If I am let me know and I'll be happy to join in on some dh bashing. lol

mel

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