Can anyone offer me advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Can anyone offer me advice?
1
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 8:03pm

Hi, I need some advice on my depression, I'm not
sure what to do. Have had a severe dip this week,
with very depressed feelings, crying, feeling
hopeless, and unable to cope. This lasted maybe
3 or 4 days and is lifting now.
Generally, I have a mild depression pretty much
constantly (20 yrs.or so)that I am contending with,
mostly, I might feel a little down but am able to
summon up the energy i need to do things. Sometimes
things get rolling, and I start to build up a lot
of hopes in my mind, that inevitably come crashing
down again (mainly because I am pretty stuck in
my life right now with small children and living
in a foreign country) I rely alot on my husband
for emotional support, yet he is not really able
to give much in this department- so most of the time
I feel pretty alone and unable to make my situation
better. My self esteem has really gone down in the
past years plus my worries and stress have increased
tremendousely since we had kids.
My question now is why do I get these periodic attacks
that are so debilitating, sometimes they seem to come
out of the blue, and what should I do about them?
I think that alot of issues are
comming up from my childhood and my youth. Is this
good? When will I be able to move on?
Should I be on Medication?
Was on Cipralex without counceling for a year, felt
much better but had many side effects and a really hard
time once I stopped, all my problems came back with a
vengeance.
Sought couceling once, but didn't get much out of me talking
about me. Need someone to help guide me through. Is there
any form of counceling where the therapist interacts more?

Am so angry sometimes that I can't "shake" this depression
and get on with my life. Feel like it's interfering in my
marriage, husband feels like he can't depend on me, and
things get to seem like they're my fault even when I'm
asking for support, because in the end I'm the one who
seems to have the problem dealing. But I know it's not
only me alot is the situation that we're both a part of .
Although, I know that if I wasn't getting
flattened by these emotional lows I'd be able to contribute
more constructively.
Don't know what to do about meds or counceling. Please write
with any suggestions or knowlege on things that might
have worked for you. Desperately need support from people
who can relate to what I'm going through, Is this a curse,
will I ever get through this? What can I expect for my future...

Mindy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 5:37pm

(((Mindy))) Welcome to the board! I'll be honest you asked a lot of questions. I will try and hit upon a few.

First, know that here you will find lots of understand people who have asked all of the questions you have.

Your post was kind of long so don't be suprised if you have overwhelmed some of the girls here. Since you know how it is to be depressed you may understand our delay in replying.

Can you trace your symptoms to your time before your cycle? Sometimes I eat and get meloncholy before my period. I also get more klutzy too. No good china for me that week. lol.

Can you trace your times you are down to a moment or a memory? Sometimes we hear a song on the radio, or a date reminds us of something traumatic. Then we get down for what seems like no apparent reason, and yet there is one.

As for meds, check with your doc and make sure there are not other issues. Thyroid or other problems can make depression worse or bring it on in the first place.

There are more meds now that create much less side effects.

As for your husband not being supportive, you are not alone. Men are not very good at communicating and seem to be worse at supporting.

Meds, couseling or both....may be a good answer. See what you can find in your area.

You are here and we are a support system.

Post any support to others here. We don't ask for perfect answers just try. You might find a connection here.

Welcome again!

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa
Co-CL Depression Support