Help!! Holiday Blues (Poss. Triggs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Help!! Holiday Blues (Poss. Triggs)
4
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 2:11pm

Why does it have to be so hard for me to come up with a Christmas Wish list? My husband has been after me to make a wish list so he could have some idea of what I want for Christmas. However simple this task may seem it is a great challenge to me. Before the depression set in about five or six years or so, I was Suzy homemaker and now I feel like Scrooge McDuck. I use to enjoy making cookies and candies and I loved to decorate our home. However, my depression has rod me of that. The first year that we lived with my in-laws we had a tree and I decorated a little. However, the following Christmas’s I decorated less and less until last year I only put up the stockings for the little ones. This year the new house is not finished and I cannot decorate it. We have been spending a lot of time at Home Depot and every time we go into the store, my youngest would ask could we have a tree mommy? We will be having some workmen that will be here the week before Christmas as well as the week after and a tree would be hard to work around. However, I did give in and dug out the artificial tree that we had purchased several years ago. But I am unable to get the lights to work, oh well maybe we will just have to wait until next year when my husband has more time and can figure out why the lights are not working. The little ones are disappointed but what can I do? Sorry I digressed. I seem to be that I do not what to think of myself. I have not had any problems with picking out gifts for the little ones but what is Christmas but to see the light of joy in the little ones eyes. We miss seeing the Nativity which is pack too. The little one ask were is baby Jesus and I have to tell them that he is pack and can not come out until the house is finished.

We were fortunate enough that my husband was given a Christmas bonus early in Dec. and was able to have the funds to buy Christmas presents. So now my husband wants to buy me something for Christmas and I have no idea as to what I would like. I was once heavy into sewing and crafts, I always had my flowers to work on too. Now nothing seems to hold my interest. I told him I would be happy with a toaster oven (something we would like for the new house) but he will not have it. He wants me to pick something for myself. My depression has robbed me of all my interests and I feel so lost. I have told him to give the money that he would have spent on me to charity but he insists that I need to have something for myself. I do not want something that will just gather dust; we have so much of that already. We have spent so much on building this house that I just can not bring myself to buy something for the sake of having a gift under the tree with my name on it (ops what tree). I feel so overwhelmed with everything. What would you do if you where in my place? Any suggestions are greatly welcomed. I am so confused.

Warmest Regards,

RainydaysArgon

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 6:13pm

(((Rainy)))) Trying thinking outside the box gift wise. Maybe you have a favorite spa, or maybe you have never tried a spa. I love facials and spas. Maybe he can give you a gift certificate for that place. Massages, you can get wonderful massages at those places. Just a thought...I am a junkie for massages and facials. Spas are a wonderful escape from all the ills of the world.

Just a thought.

A gift certificate for your favorite book store?

How's your internet connection? Maybe a faster one is a gift.

*sigh* I am now missing having someone to want to buy me something.

But that's ok, you will have a lovely holiday and clearly this man loves you. That is very cool.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)

Co-CL Depression Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 7:50pm

Hello Lisa,

Thank you for your great suggestions. It is wonderful having someone that loves you very much. It makes depression that much harder to except. I am one of the luckiest people on this earth so why am I depressed? I have a Loving husband, four wonderfully health children and a new home in the process of being built. This is why it is so hard for me to except that I have depression. My doctor says that the depression is the result of constantly being stressed. It is like a viscous cycle of not feeling worthy of all that I have. Thus, it brings me to feel that I deserve nothing.

We live in the extreme boonies so for me to go to a spa I would have to travel a long distant. Not that that is not a doable thing.

For the eight months that we have been living in the travel trailer I have had a set of five books that I have read and reread at least seven times so I think that reading is not up my alley right now.

I did like the suggestion of a faster Internet but because we are out so far, we will have to wait until it hit our neck of the woods.

My husband really wants me to pick something just for me but nothing interests me right now.

I am sorry if I made you feel bad. I sometimes feel guilty posting here, as I know some of the other members are in some really bad places in their life and I am sorry if I have offended anyone. Depression knows no bounds and can strike anyone at anytime. It is miserable some days. So that you for your suggestions they have give me something to think about.

Warmest Regards,

RainydaysArgon

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 8:57pm

((((((((((((((((((((Rainy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I had an idea for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 10:24pm

((((Rainy))) You have not upset me in any way shape or form. Please know that no-one's problems are too big or too small for us to support you through.

We are here for you.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)

Co-CL Depression Support Board