Feeling down with holidays here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Feeling down with holidays here
5
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 2:42pm
Lately, I haven't been happy. I'm sick of being single and not finding the right one. I'm 34 and want to settle. Why is it so difficult to date nowadays? With the holidays approaching again, I'm feeling down and crying. I'm sick of it already! I'm a happy, outgoing person who loves life but sick of being alone! The holidays aren't making it easier either:( I called in work today because I'm sick of it already. Yesterday, when I got there, I started crying briefly. Not to mention,I may be in pre-menopuase now according to my gyn nurse. So those systems aren't helpin matters either. I'm feeling moody, can't sleep, wake up full of sweat, sweat during the day,etc. I just finished classes this semester and am pursuing a degree. I had my own home built 6 years ago. I have a lot going for me. I try to stay focused and smile but it seems harder to do each day. Any suggestions?
Avatar for luv5monkeys
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 5:34pm

Are you taking any meds? I had night sweats when I took antidepressants.

If not, you may need to change your diet or add pre-menopausal(sp?) supplements. Your local vitamin shop probably has one just for you. Look for one with Black Cohosh and Don Quai.

On being single: I know it is lonely. I found my husband on Christian Matchmaker.com.

Linda
weaverll@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 12:38am
Thank you Linda! No, I'm not taking any meds. Somebody suggested buying the Black Cohosh as that as helped her:) Off to GNC I go, lol. Is it normal to feel lonely and sad at times? Everything else seems to be in place for me except a mate. Somebody actually told me to snap out of it and stop acting like I'm desperate to have somebody. I thought it was rude! I'll get through the holidays one way or another. Just staying busy:) Catching up on things I've been putting off because school was in session,lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 10:01am

Sunny,

You seem to be one together person. You go to school, work and own your own home. I understand the need desire for a mate. I did not get married until 37. I think you are young. Enjoy your life as a single person. You can take many positive steps to finding a husband, personal ads, church groups, single groups, volunteering etc. In the meantime, focus on you and having fun!!!

I also recommend talking to a therapist. Having someone an objective person to talk to has helped me tremendously. You are not alone!!! There is nothing wrong with YOU. It is just very hard to meet me in this age of technology. I do know that single men out number single woman in their 30's. GO FOR IT!!

Thanks.

Irene

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 8:28pm

Thank you for your kind words. I don't want to sound depressed maybe sad,lol. I feel old for 34,lol. It sucks being single! Yes, I do enjoy it but want to have companionship, children, a husband, the whole 9 yards:) Isn't that the truth? It's so hard to meet a good man these days! I thought maybe there was potential with this one guy but apparently not! I know I'll hear about this one,lol! I work for a couple in a small office. They've always been up front with me and treat me with respect. I'm 34,single, and have a lot going for me:) They have a son who is 32 and single. They always tell me how he is looking for the right one, has nobody special right now, he works a lot of hours though, etc. He sounded like a respectable man. I took it as though maybe they were trying to feel me out without rocking the boat or they wouldn't say these kinds of things for running a tight ship.

Two weeks ago while bs'ng with his Dad, he said it again. I told his Dad if he ever expressed an interest in me, I'd go out with him. He told me he'd say something to him but if it got serious, he'd have to fire me. I told him I wouldn't cause problems and would still do my job like always:) He said okay, I'll talk to him. That Friday when they were on the phone, he told his son, about what we were discussing the other night, it could potentially cost somebody their job and we need to say something sooner or later. The guy came in the next Tuesday to show them his new truck. He gave me a big smile and I gave one back. He always smiles at me first, has checked me out a few times, etc, so I thought maybe there was interest. Before his Dad left that day, he told me he hadn't talked to him yet because the timing's been off. I told him, I understand; let's keep it where it's at. He then said, whose car is that? I turned around, he said the gold one. I said, I don't know! He said, wasn't there a little white boxy, beat up car sitting there earlier? Yes:( He goes, isn't that YOUR car? I said yes:( He goes, did you see (name) new truck? I said no, not really (didn’t go look).

He said, do you like him now because he bought a new truck? I said no! I told him again, forget about this and keep it professional between us. He said when the timing's right, he'll tell him! Can you believe that? To slam me for what I currently drive? Yes, it's a banged up, beat up 1992 geo metro. That hurt my feelings! My boss knows I had my home built, am in refinance process right now, had a Sebring convertible prior to the box, lol, and am buying a new car the end of the year once my loan closes.So why did he say this? He's never done that before! Was he testing me? It's been a few weeks now & neither my boss or the guy has mentioned this to me. So I figure, either the guy isn't interested or his parents aren't comfortable with the whole idea. Why get my hopes up to say that about my car and blow me off? Oh well!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sun, 12-19-2004 - 12:48am
The closer it's getting to the holidays, the harder it seems to be. Yes, I'm being productive and busy but it's not the same. Will I ever meet Mr Right? My parents can't fly out here due to my Father's work schedule. I'll be going to my brother's Christmas Day to have a potluck dinner with some of his buddies. I wish the holidays were done and over with. Heck, I didn't even bother decorating my home or anything this year:(