Stressful day

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Stressful day
1
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 8:04pm

I'm back! I haven't posted in awhile, because I have been crazily busy. It has been keeping my mind off stuff, but tonight I find myself feeling pretty blue. I talked to an old friend tonight. I said I would go to his birthday party tomorrow night but now I don't know if I want to. He was going on and on (and on and on and on... I remember why I hadn't talked to him in so long----he really annoys me!) about how much he loves his life and how great things are. He was asking me questions that should be simple, like "what have you been doing for fun?" and I have nothing to say. I feel like a big loser. And I am so unhappy it is hard to hear that others are so completely the opposite. Like, why can't I feel like that, just for ONE SECOND?

Also, I had a huge presentation at work today. It was for the CEO's. I'm not used to that kind of pressure. I guess I did really well, but even so, I just don't feel right tonight.

The holidays are so close and I am feeling so lousy about it. My parents have said how they have gone out of their way to make sure I am super happy on Christmas, but I am afraid to let them down now. What if I don't feel happy? Holidays are often a time of reflection and celebration, and I have nothing I want to reflect on and DEFINITELY nothing to celebrate.

I'm really sad. Hope others are doing better tonight.

Seya

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: seya79
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 11:58am

hey,

nt doin good at all tonite...thinkin of killin myself...but honey hang in there it will get better. n maybe ur friend jst lies about how great life is he mite be sad inside, we dnt knw what others feel deep down