crying ab. husband...just threw him out
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| Sat, 12-18-2004 - 11:23pm |
i told u that i have a reactive depression..
when something upsets
me, i become depressed. well, something BIGGGGGG
occurred this week, and i have
not stopped crying.
my husband, who is now ringless, cuz i removed
his ring right from his finger,
and threw him out, has been fantasizing ab a co-worker.
he always had eyes just for me. always loyal i
always wz the one who turned him
on.
i have become more religious, to which i know
he objected .. then i began to wear
looong skirts and appropriate shirts and blouses
most of the time.
occasionally, i wear a v-neck.
it is my decision.. he is an athiest, but we never
had probs like this b4.
this co-worker wears tight tight clothes
she is skinnnnnnnny
i am well-endowed on top, which he always
made a fuss over me ab that.
i won't tell u the size but it is impressive, yet
i wear size small to medium sweaters
imagine that!! it ain't the width, baby...thinkish
in cuppish terms hahahhahhahaha
plus i am a size 8-10 i went from a size 22 to a size
8-10 on exercize and herbalife.
he never once never once complimented me on my new
figure or how nice i look or how sexy i look.
anyway, i have been crying for 4 days since he told
me that he has been fantasizing ab. her
it began when she bought him a personal gift. another
co-worker who knows us bought US a gift.. this girl
bought him a gift.. he said that he wanted to buy her
a gift. i told him that it wzn't necessary cuz she
wanted to thank him for his help to her.
but he insisted, so i suggested a store, and he said,
"no, not for her...she shops in such an such store
and she wears such and such style and even her shoes
yada yada."
i wz in such shock.. he never ever said one word
ab my clothes never
he never gave me a compliment. that's how i know
that something wz amiss.
i knew that he had feelings for this girl cuz my
husband never even looked around
at another female.
he wz soo loyal.
dunno what happend to him
they r in and out of ea others' offices
all day.
i am sick ab this.
he has feelings for her now.
nothing will happen cuz he is too moralistic
for anything to happen (passive-aggressive ppl
r like that) and more
important, she has no interest in him
i trust her and i like her.
he is in a fantasy delusional world and he
lost me now
he can not function w/o me cleaning up his papers,
taking his shirts into the
cleaners, giving him dinner, even when he comes home
every night at 10pm, setting up his clothes the night
b4 work, going into his office, working w him,
helping him give out the xmas gift certificates, and
writing out all of them and getting the gift
certificates from macy's. there is plenty more.
i take care of everything in
the house, even tho' i work too.
i have to take everything he hands out..all
the hours away from the house
he leaves at 6am and returns at 10pm he is
not part of my house, nor my life anymore
the kids hate him cuz he is mean to me
and he has been for years
i do everything for him
well, NO MORE. let his fantasy princess do it now
i am soooooooooo hurt
had he owned up to what he did to me
and shared my feelings w me
no, instead, he denied everything i said
i am soooooooo hurt and crying and crying
and crying
he says that he dzn't feel anything for her
one time
and 2 seconds later,he says that he still
feels something for her
he has been lying and lying, and i have
been crying and crying
thanx for listening
kitties

Kitties,
It is so awful to feel betrayed by someone you love. I have been through that, too. From what you say, he was lucky to have you and now he's thrown it all away. But I wonder if this isn't a blessing in disguise? You say he's been mean to you and your children don't like him, he doesn't help out at all, you hardly see him...You were very brave to throw him out and see that you deserve better. I hope that you will continue to be strong and let him know that things cannot stay as they were. Right now, betrayal is topmost in your mind, I'm sure, but really, I think you should pat yourself on the back for having the courage to tell him to go. And congrats also on losing all that weight; that is wonderful! The fact that he said nothing about it tells me that he feels intimidated by the "new you" who is probably stronger than he is, and stronger than he thought you were.
Big hugs to you,
Nicola
Im soo very sorry Kitties.
Im not in the best place myself right now to be offering sage advice, but know that I am thinking of you and hope it all works out in whatever way is best for you.
*hugs
Hi Kitties,
I'm new to the board. I just read your story and want to congratulate you on your strength and your personal empowerment (although I know you don't feel that way now)I imagine what you found out was like a gut punch. I'm going through a break-up now myself with my ex-boyfriend (so weird to say that). You took on a tremendous challege before with your weight, so you know that your life, quality of it is up to you. I'm sure you know this is what you had to do. Maybe you also know drastically changing an area of your life (e.g. weight loss) can cause dramatic shifts in your relationships. Went through this too in other areas. People pigeon hole you,and they don't know how to react to your changes. A lot of people will turn on you, due to intimidation and jealousy. They probably need to make changes they're too scared or lazy to make.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of insecure men who need to control you through belittling and sabotage. You know you did the right thing. I hope your healing process goes well. That you will see unhealthy relationship losses as good losses.
((((((((((HUGS TO YOU KITTIES))))))))))
Hang in there time will heal your soul. Know we are here for you. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
Donna