Night is Hardest

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Night is Hardest
10
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 12:22am
Does anyone else seem to have a harder time at night? maybe it's just having trouble sleeping? Maybe it's knowing I have to go to school and smile for hours and hours tomorrow. I am just always closest to giving up at night. Do you know what I mean? Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
In reply to: flute54
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 4:40am

Debbie: I have such bizarre sleep patterns that most nights I am getting up for the day about the time you posted this, luckily today I managed to get some sleep until 2am, much better than I had been the past few days.

I so hope your Dr can help, and you know, if you can hang in there, as soon as your dd flies back to Texas, check yourself into a hospital and get some 24/7 help if you need it. I can't imagine this world without you in it, so anything you have to do to get better, PLEASE do it, OK? Love and hugs, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
In reply to: flute54
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 10:51am
Yes! Night has always been harder for me, as well. It seems like my anti-depressant medication (Prozac) works during the day, and I feel fairly normal, but at night, I get really depressed again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: flute54
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 11:03am

Debbie,

I know what you mean about night...for me it is when I think the most and by nature I am a big thinker that is just my personality but that is also when I think about Jakob(my son) the most when I cry the most and when I hate me the most so ya I know what you mean about the night..it is hard but we make it thru and live another day and as time goes on I hope that you become stronger and continue to live more and more...also I agree with Josie that you should get some help that way you can become a better you and live your life..
I hope that things start to look better for you and that you are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel cause it is there we just have to work really hard to see it but you are strong and a fighter so I know that you will make it...
Sending you a ton of hugs and support
Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: flute54
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 9:01pm
Yes I know what you mean. I definitely have a harder time at night. I've no doubt that when I do finally give up it will be at night. And yes, insomnia doesn't help matters any. As for work the next day I've managed to perfect the art of being polite and smiling in all the right places but boy is it hard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: flute54
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 6:21am

YES DEFINITELY! It's nice to know that I am not the only one who does this...not that I would wish this on anyone...but at least I don't feel so alone. I read a quote that describes how I feel at nite.

Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly
walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.
-- Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Even though there's no "you" other than the happy me...it describes my depression. During the day I keep myself occupied and I feel sad but I can't dwell on it...and at nite it's there and unavoidable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
In reply to: flute54
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 2:14pm
When my father was in a rest home most of the people there would act out at night. The nurses said that they called it "Sun Downers" becouse thats when the visiters stop coming and people are sleeping and thats when the mind starts to wonder. I can relate to that becouse night is the hardest for me, I try not to let the sun downers get to me but it always gets me down.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: flute54
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 9:32pm
That poem describes it perfectly. Thank you for sharing it. I wish I could just erase these terrible feelings for you and everyone else. I'm sorry I can't write more, it's hard to see through these tears. They just don't stop and it's very hard to keep hiding them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
In reply to: flute54
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 11:38pm
My "witching hour" is at twilight, just as it is getting dark, I have the most awful spirit come upon me. I can't help but think of Bob Dylan's song "It's Not Dark Yet(but it's getting there)" that song describes what I feel down to the very last detail. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: flute54
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 9:24am

Actually Night is not as hard for me, because at least I can sleep and help time pass. But I know it is soo difficult for sooo many. Your posts made me think of the Moody Blues song; "Nights in White Satin" but I suppose Im just dating myself LOL


Just wanted to let you all know, I do understand..

*hugs

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: flute54
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 9:04am
Well I'm "whiter shade of pale" so don't feel bad, I've dated myself too. LOL
And.....thank you.