What's wrong with me...?
Find a Conversation
What's wrong with me...?
| Mon, 12-20-2004 - 5:22pm |
Ok, I don’t really know where to start this, so I guess I’ll start somewhere at the beginning. It’s been a rough year for me. I was married in February of 03, and things were great for awhile. I don’t know where or how things started to change, but they did, and drastically. My husband started drinking a lot and wanting to “hang out” with other girls, and when I told him it bothered me, he blew it off. After months of endless arguing, he left one night when I found out he had spent the night at a woman’s house when he told me he was at his parents… a couple days later he sent an e-mail to tell me he filed for divorce. That is what sank me to my low. I lost a lot of weight, almost had to be hospitalized because of it, and kept saying I couldn’t go through with this life. I was put on Zoloft and with the help of friends and family, I started feeling like myself again. Somehow though, I think I’ve lost my “go-get-em” attitude in life… It seems like I’d rather do nothing than go out somewhere, and I sleep a ton. Since the divorce, a GREAT guy has come into my life, but I feel like I’m actually pushing him away and looking for problems. I’m not sure if I’ll ever really be happy again or if I keep creating problems to prevent myself from being happy. I know I’m putting this guy through a lot, and I can see it… it causes us both to say things we don’t really mean and a lot of them are hurtful things. There are a lot of times when I just feel like everything about him annoys me and that I don’t want to see him, and then there are other times when I want nothing else than to be together. I was on Zoloft up until last month when I was switched to Prozac, but I noticed these things with him starting when I was still on the Zoloft. I don’t know if there is actually something that causes people to push people away… I just really don’t know what’s going on with me and if I should go back to a Dr. and get different medicines, or what’s going on… Does anyone have any advice or know of someone who has a similar experience? I’m worried there’s something wrong with me and that I’ll never be able to be happy with anyone because I’ll always find something to be unhappy with…

(((((Chanasya))))), welcome!