repressing memories???
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| Mon, 12-20-2004 - 5:46pm |
really oddquestion for some of you here and it is something that just today came into mind I was speaking with a co-worker about this (this person and I are close and very open with one another)we were talking about being with a man...and I say I do not remember what it was like when I was with my sons father then I say maybe I blocked it out that way he and I could remain friends so then I sit for a moment and think and it hits me I do not remember any "relations" with men at all with anyone I have been with none zip zilch I know it happened but I could not give details about the event..
thing that freaks me out is that is this normal? I never thought about it before but I could not even tell you about a guy I dated a few months ago to be honest a month later not even the memory is gone and that kinda worries me ya know..
why out of all things in my life would intercourse be the thing that gets forgotten about?
I think this is something that I need to talk to marnie about this week better do it soon for me cause I may forget to talk about it before she leaves oh ya Marnie is leaving me as a therapist and it sucks so now I have to go to a group therapy and I am not into groups but she thinks that it will help me..
so anyways if anyone can give me some insight I would appreciate it..
Thank
Erin

peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue,
thanks for your insight....
The thing is I have very few memories that are solid I do not remember much of my childhood..I never knew my father till I was 21 and he was a jerk who verbally abused me when I did give him the chance to get to know me but thankfully I was old enough to not let him treat me that way.
My mother was I guess emotionally unavailable she didnt drink do drugs verbally or phisically abuse us she just didnt talk about anything that was an issue she closed up I guess because she was abused by my grandmopther physically and emotionally and abused by my father that way also..
The thing is I have learned from my mother to not talk the only time I do talk is in therapy and that isnt enough after I leave therapy I clam up..
So the thing that worries me is why I have these memory lapses I know that alot of the men I slept with it was to fill a void but then there are men like my ex that I loved and the memories are gone I can hardly remember things that were said and done I know that I have intamacy issues maybe due to how I view my body I dont know it just irks me alot cause I feel like there is something deeper going on I go to therapy tomorrow so I can look into it then with her..
Thanks again for your insight I appreciate it and it did help alot..maybe this is a way to protect myself I dont know..
Erin