At the end of my rope...(trig)
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At the end of my rope...(trig)
| Tue, 12-21-2004 - 11:01pm |
...and trying to tie a knot to grab onto.
I don't even know where to start. It is so much easier to respond to others' posts (I'm your classic caretaker) than to post one of my own, because I don't think it is important enough, yet it is renting a lot of space in my head and I've got to get it out somehow.
I'm so depressed again

Dear Sue: I wish we lived in the same town and I would come and "kidnap" you today, take you to my 10:30 alanon then lunch afterwards and hopefully that would help you feel better some, I could give you some hugs for your external validation.
I must admit, since I am not bipolar, I can't say, been there, done that, but I do know with my depression and anxiety, I can be going along pretty good, and the dumbest things set me off. Monday it was getting a Christmas card from a long lost cousin of dh, and I was dreading him coming home and telling me to quickly send her off a card, which he didn't do, as I said, we will have to send her one next year. But honestly, even if he had asked me too, it would have taken me less than 5 minutes, so like, "how important is it" at that point.
But I don't mean to minimize your experiences, and I am glad you saw your therapist, and that you called your sponsor. Did you ever think about getting another sponsor, or is there other people at your 12 step you could reach out to between meetings?
I went to an Alanon meeting last night, bare in mind I live in a rural area, so there was only 4 of us there, but I like these smaller groups, and the time a friend and I went to a bigger city south of us, the 20 or so people seemed so impersonal to me, I like the smaller groups I guess.
Not sure any of this helps, but know I care, and I hope today will be better for you. Maybe going to work will help distract you, I know it usually works that way for me.
take care, Love, Josie.
I too, am bipolar. Have you asked your doc about adjusting your meds (I'm assuming you're on meds)? I know
it usually helps me when I get very high or low. The bad part is that when I am low and they make an adjustment,
it get worse before it gets better, but only for a day or so. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad around the holidays. No one can really say anything to make it go away, but I hope you can pull yourself out somehow. It seems like this
disease a;ways acts up at the worst times. I started becoming manic again a few days ago, so they increased my meds, and it's defintely helping, but I'm sleeping about 14 hours a day, and vomitting. Exactly how I want to feel during the holidays!!!!!
Best of luck to you,
Sue (too)
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Thanks Sue for your response. I am so blessed to have a great psychiatrist who is also my therapist, and I need to remember all the help he has given me and how nonjudgemental he is when I'm feeling low. It doesn't matter that I pay the guy - we have worked together for 8 years, are colleagues in a sense because I am an MD too,
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
(((Sue))) Let's tie another knot in your rope for me to hold onto. I am about there as well. You are doing a good job of systematicaly addressing all of your issues. It is good that you are covering a lot of ground in self analysis. Sometimes folks don't ever try and identify stuff, they ignore and supress.
I am pretty sure I have posted this to you before but...
Self-injury board:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhselfinjury
I am not familiar with the patterns of self abuse. Except for maybe choosing really boring men to date. lol
I just wanted you to know that I am among many that is here for you.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Co-CL Depression Support Board