What is the best way to "help"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
What is the best way to "help"
7
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 1:18pm

Hi--I hope someone can give me some advise. My SIL, who I am very,very close with is clinically depressed. She has been heading on a downward spiral for a while now (almost a year) and has now thankfully started therapy and is on medication. Her parents and her brothers and sister all live out of state and are not the least bit supportive or have an understanding of what she is going through. They tell her not to be so weak and to snap out of it---horrible. She can't depend on her husband--they are not in a good place right now either. She has 3 kids under the age of 9 and I don't know what I can do for her. I know I can't "fix" her. She is trying to help herself but her bad days seem to be getting worse. I just keep saying to her that she is not alone and that I am here for her. She is very open with me and shares what she is feeling, but then tries to push me away and says that I shouldn't want to be friends with her and that she is sorry. What are the best things I can do for her and say to her?

TIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 2:34pm

Hi there!!

I am a visiting cl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 3:03pm

Thank you for your response!! Yes, she is seeing a therapist (maybe only twice a month) and yes, she is on AD's. During your worst times what do you wish someone would have said or done? I feel so helpless and really want to do the right thing for her. Like I said before , I know I can't "save" her, but I just want to make sure I don't do or say anything to make things worse.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 3:21pm

I'm glad she's seeing a therapist and taking meds, those are great starting tools!

Wow - that's a tough question!! But

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 4:41pm
Hi! I'am new to the board. But I also get very depresed at times sometimes for day's.So I know how your SIL feels and what you are doing is the greatest thing in the world you can do. Other than maybe getting her out of the house those walls realy start to close in on ya. We all need a SIL like you. I wish you and your SIL the best of luck, Bonny
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 8:56am
bump
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 4:30pm

Hi -


I agree with the others that letting her know that you are there for her,

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 10:03am

Thank you all for your wondeful responses. You all are such unbelievably strong people and I wish you all nothing but comfort and peace of mind.

Thanks again--Lisa