Post-D ... now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Post-D ... now what?
4
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 6:33pm

My xdbf got out of the hospital a few months ago. He was in for a very long time and now is working and doing really well. We maintained minimal contact throughout his hospitalization (which was about a year).

Now that he is out, we are hanging out again. He seems great but I know that the D is probably lingering under the surface somewhere. I don't press him about it but listen when he wants to talk about it. My question is that when you are in remission, what does that mean? The D has disappeared? Or you can still feel and need to deal with it? I don't mean taking ADs and seeing a pdoc. I want to know what it means on a day to day basis when it's supposedly under control. I'd love some insight if someone would like to share.

Thx,
Isa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 4:40pm

Hi Isa -


there is no one or right answer - everyone is different.

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 12:17am

Sue,

Thanks for your response. I felt like I have read up so much on what he was going through before he stablized that I don't know what it means now that he is!

I know that most people are different but did you (or anyone else) find it difficult to readjust to the people around you once the D was under control or lifted? How has D affected your personal relationships?

Thanks for sharing,
Isa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 8:23am

Hi Isa -


The depression has definitely affected my relationships with some people - my mother, for instance - but we still have a dysfunctional relationship. And my AA sponsor who wants to attribute all of my emotional symptoms to alcoholism and downplays the depression, although she is the first to admit she doesn't understand it, not having ever gone through it herself.

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 11:16am

I think the "fear of abandonment" issue is a hard one to get over. I know that my ex struggles with this being that all of his close friends are now dead. I think he realizes on a certain level that not everyone leaves but as we all know, it's easier to know something on a logical level and truly believe it in one's heart.

Thank you for the insight. I do feel that my ex is keeping me at a distance at times and all I can really do is show him that I am not going anywhere. It takes a lot of patience!

Thanks again for your feedback. It's much appreciated.

Isa