Putting a Positive Spin on New Years..
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Putting a Positive Spin on New Years..
| Mon, 12-27-2004 - 10:09am |
Hey all!
Lisa's Roll call post about New Years being depressing because of all the things she didnt accomplish made me realize we need to help her change her attitude *wink
The New Year has always been a time of hope for me and last year I made a resolution that for the very first time I stuck to.

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Great idea, Caly...I don't generally make resolutions, but having goals sounds a lot more doable. I'd already planned on getting more organized this year (since I think my life would be a lot easier without the physical mess around me!), but I'm not even quite sure how to start on that. Other than that, though, I can't really seem to come up with any goals. Although I know this has to be a self-motivated kind of thing, any suggestions on how to think of some? Hmmm...maybe I'll come up with something after a while...
Rose
Bumping this up one more time!
Still have a few of you who havent answered hehe
*smile
*hugs
*hugs
I hadn't really come up with any yet, but I *DID* say to myself at midnight last night "This is going to be MY year!" which was suggested by the CL on a post she made. :)
So.. here are some things that I would like to see happen this year and that I know I need to put some effort/energy into.
1) Take care of my physical needs. This means getting enough sleep and eating foods that will make me feel better, not sluggish and yucky. The 3 days/week that the kids are with dad, I will not live on fast food. (This is not a weight loss issue entirely, as I am of average weight, but the fact that I feel like crap because I eat like crap)
2) I will get BACK ON MY MEDS. At least the Anti-D's, and figure out what else I need with my pdoc as time goes by.
3) I will try to find the good in each situation I am struggling in. I have no "career goals". I am not passionate about anything really, so right now I am working part-time for barely above minimum wage, and I have a college degree! So, I will find a better-paying job and even if I don't love it, I will be no worse off than I am now.
4) I will put more energy into deciding whether I should go back to school or try to advance my "career" in mental health which is where I have the most experience. Flitting around from thing to thing is not giving me solid longterm experience anywhere, and I am 27 years old! I want to pick something and stick with it a while.
5) I need to figure out how not to be so depressed that my kids are with their dad 3 days/week. We have had this schedule for over 2 years now, I know it is good for them, they are safe, well-loved and cared for while they are there. I am only making myself miserable. I want to feel like I am living a WHOLE life. Right now, I feel like I am living a half-life. 3 days a week I feel I am on hold while they are gone, and 4 days a week I am counting down the days until they leave again. I need to figure out how to live a WHOLE life that INCLUDES those transitions, not centers AROUND them.
If anyone has any suggestions to help me achieve any of these things, please share! These are the biggies.
~ Kiya
Happy New Year!
These are my goals for 2005:
1. Get back on track financially. (Talk about overwhelming)
2. Take care of ME for a change. This includes making healthy food choices, exercising, and taking time to do nice things for myself and try not to feel guilty about it.
3. Reconnecting with God on a personal and spiritual level. I will do this by meditation, prayer and attending worship services.
OK Caly, Since you bumped it up twice ---I'd better post my goals too. Actually, this is the list that my therapist and I worked out last week---but I agreed to all of it---so here they are.
1. To take care of myself first.
2. To relax and accept that not everything is going to be perfect. i.e. if there is something out of place in the house---the world is not going to end if I don't clean it right that minute!
3. To accept the fact that I will be on meds for depression for the rest of my life and to be patient when it seems like there will never be a combination that works.
4. To stop trying to be superwoman. I have a tendancy to push myself and take on more than I should to prove that I can function---depressed or not!
There are a few more---they are all along that line. As you can see, nothing that will be impossible to achieve. Tuesday we are going to go thru my schedule to see where I can cut back. My therapist and doctor are both pushing for me to stop teaching full time now---but I am still hoping to finish the year.
Looking at this list tho, I think I need some fun goals too. I'll have to come up with some.
Debbie
Hi Rose,
Here's a site that might help you w/ organizing your home/room. The list has helped me w/ that and w/ my depression.
http://www.flylady.net
There is a "Flybabies" board at ivillage, too.
Love, Nicola
Thanks, Nicola...I'll definitely check it out!
I've been putting it off, but I know I need to come up with some goals for myself as well. It's been hard for me to think of them all at once, but I'll start with a few now and then maybe edit my post to include more later as I think of them. Good idea by the way, Caly!
Hmmm, so my goals and a few ways I'm thinking about reaching them:
1. Get and stay organized and keep up with deadlines.
2. Make a real effort to eat healthier and stop stress-related over-eating.
3. Probably the underlying theme to all this, I think: actually start to treat myself as a real person. Obvious as this sounds, I don't think I do this at all...my therapist emphasizes the fact that I always try to be as inconspicuous and waste-less as possible, basically to try to disappear, if that makes sense.
I've started trying to do this in little ways, like just recently buying myself a basic CD player, since up until now I've had no way of listening to music...just felt like I wasn't worth the $20 or so it would cost to buy one...and even now I still feel guilty about it, but I'll try not to! I still haven't even put any decorations on my walls since I moved in over half a year ago, for the same reason...just not worth it.
5. Also probably related: try to find some kind of balance in the way I spend my time and energy so my life (and my concept of self) isn't consumed by school...try to keep up with creative outlets like writing and photography.
6. I need some kind of social goal as well since I don't have close friends yet...I guess I could keep making an effort to get to know people around me better, even when my moods make me feel like I don't want to...and even though I'm scared that the more someone knows me, the more they will dislike me!
7. Not sure how feasible this is...but my mom reminds me that I should be proud of what I've accomplished and stop feeling like a failure if I don't do everything or don't do it perfectly. And also related, stop comparing myself to others and finding myself inferior.
OK, guess that's it for now...you know that I can't manage to write a short post, even with only a few goals!
Rose
Edited 1/1/2005 10:00 pm ET ET by rosa444
Warning this is going to be long as I used the questions from the 2 meditation readings I had on January 1st:
2005 Goals
1. What would I like to have happen in my life this year?
To have both of our hypersensitive pneumonitis cured.
Contine in therapy: make sense of my feelings for Dad,
increase self esteem, increase job confidence,
make peace with food, increase self love,
increase self acceptance, continued work on
improving family relationships
2. Would would I like to do, to accomplish?
To reach and maintain a wt less than/equal to 160#
To decrease the medications I am currently on
Read 12 non-fiction books
3. What good would I like to attract into my life?
Increased spirituality
To follow the 12 steps & Alanon program
To feel God's presence more (eg: Word Among Us daily)
Attend church 2 times a month
Chair Tues PM Alanon meetings in April
4. What particular areas of growth would I like to have happen to me?
To become more outwardly loving - hug more people
To have serenity in my life
Try one different recipe every month
5. What blocks, or character defects, would I like to have removed?
Emotional eating
Criticism of others
Fear of trying new things
Fear of making mistakes
6. What would I like to attain? Little things and big things.
Increased physical activity & strength by adding 3 times a week:
either a 1 mile or 20 minute walk on a treadmill, walk
tape or walk outside- weather permitting.
7. Where would I like to go?
Some place special for our 20th anniversary: perhaps
Atlantic coast in South Carolina & Georgia
8. What would I like to have happen in friendship and love?
Continued friendship with Sara, Annette and other
Alanon ladies
Reach out to people at work more
Put more energy into our sex life weekly-
aim for 2 times a week
9. What would I llike to have happen in my family life?
Continued openness with Mom & sister Karen
Work on becoming honest with sister Barb
To be able to go to home I grew up in without having
the unhappy childhood memories haunting me
in that house.
10. What problems would I like to see solved?
Our lung problems
DH's sleep apnea
My sleep patterns
11. What decisions would I like to make?
To choose cleaning the house in my spare time such as
washing all the windows in 2005
Plant 4 flower pots outside
To listen for & then follow God's will in my life.
12. What would I like to have happen in my career?
To view changes as positive
To accept my increasing caseload
To think of the challenges of solving
problems as positive
To accept a job well done & take pride in it.
Complete 20 continuing education hours.
13. What would I like to see happen inside and around me?
To have a honest & loving relationship with everyone in
my life.
To manage my anxiety & depression.
To live one day at a time.
Let go & let God
To live the Alanon program in all my affairs.
14. What attributes would I like to gain?
Patient, accepting, good with boundaries, confident,
Appropriately responsible, problem solver,
Be full of joy, laugh more, be optimistic
15. List what I am ready to let go of: things, people, attitudes, and behaviors
I would like to release?
100% release Lindy & Worka in my mind & memory (2 non-supportive ex-friends)
Let go of medicating with food
16. If anything were possible, anything at all, what are the possibilities I would
like to experience and see?
To always see the glass as half full
Stop and smell the roses
To greet each day with joy-wonder-happiness
To be grateful more & complain less
To see us both healthy again
To see Mom-and 2 sisters & I ALL be loving and
honest with each other.
WISH ME LUCK WITH ALL OF THESE! HUGS, JOSIE
Whoooooooooo HOOOOOOOOO Kiya!
*hugs
Great Goals Stacy!
Printing it out and posting it where you can see it is a great idea!
*hugs
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