why does my heart feel so sad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
why does my heart feel so sad?
7
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 2:00am

i told you guys about the fact that i met a guy who i started getting really close to and really caring about. he was so great to me, and i felt like he was some long lost soul mate or something. we definitely had a connection and were dating but not exclusive- in fact he freaked out that i was going to break his heart and he didn't want to trust anyone again about something that happened and things have been weird ever since. this was the guy who i saw come home w/a girl who lives in my building. well, my doorman just told me he came home with another girl and he thought it was the same one (when it happened the other day he called me and texted me a ton that she left and was just a friend and blah blah).

i know i should seperate myself that this sounds like disaster and i should run the other way. but it doesn't mean i can tell my heart not to hurt. i hate this feeling. i am still sad about my ex (in my heart, not my head). honestly, i don't need either one of them to be my boyfriend if they aren't able to be a good one, but both of these guys meant the world to me as a friend and as a person and it hurts to not have them in my life even as a friend. i don't understand how this stuff works sometimes. all i know is that i am sad. i don't like this feeling!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 9:54am

VG,

Honey I am so sorry that you have this pain in your heart right now and I do hope that it goes away soon.
I think that sometimes or I least I know for me this is true that we tend to attrack the same type of guys we go for the ones that may look different but act the same as the last one we dated or even act as our fathers I know strange but for me it is so true I date the ones that dont really want me for me that abuse alcohol or drugs ect...but I know that I am the one that makes that choice to be with them they dont come and look for me I look for them and it took me many many years and many therapy appointments to see that its like when a woman says why do these jerks always come to me???WRONG we go to them..
and I know I may over step my line right now but this new guy seems to be a little like the last guy you dated he was afraid to get close to get hurt ect...and now this new guy seems to be that way also..I think that for your heart you should step away from this guy and maybe be with yourself for now I know I sound mean dont I?? but maybe if you are alone you will be able to pick the right guy the one that will want to be with you the one who isnt so insecure the one who isnt afraid to get close to you ect...
You deserve to be loved to have all the best things that life has to offer you desere a man who will treat you like a queen you DO NOT desere any less than that..
Hun I hope that your heart heals fast and I hope that you will be happy and healthy and find rel love soon cause that is what you deserve.
Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 10:42am

oh VG I think soo many of us can understand this.


We can all tell our head what to think but our hearts have a mind of their own.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 11:28pm

Hey VG,

You know how I feel because we talked about it already. I know how tough it is to have your heart be so vulnerable. You feel rejected and empty because of your breakup with your ex. So you like the attention of other men, because you need validation. Given your deep need, you feel that rejection much more intensely.

Men are crazy and impossible to figure out.

So who knows what it was about. But it ain't about you.

Hugs and all My Support,
MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 8:19am
I'm going through somewhat the same thing right now so I understand your pain. You're confused about what to do. Deep down I think you know the answer but the thought of being without him is so painful it's hard to act on it. This may not be a help to you but all I can suggest is to take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. This is what I'm doing now. It's not easy but I'm afraid it's necessary and the only way I know to cope right now. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 3:29pm
i just wanted to thank all of you for your support- now and always. your advice definitely helps, and even just the thought behind writing me and caring makes me feel so much better. i needed those hugs and to feel loved right now. thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 8:18pm

hey vogue girl..just wanna give u a (((((((((((HUG))))))))))))) i hope ur big beautiful heart starts to mend.

xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 8:22pm

Yes, along with everyone else, I can say that I feel for you...I know that my own heart has been "stuck" on something or someone long after my head has moved on! I hope that it will get better with time.

Hugs,

Rose