Hearts are made to be broken..
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| Thu, 12-30-2004 - 2:10am |
It's 2am... I haven't slept in days although my problems have been going on for months. A newly wed girl of only 21, and her husband has decided that he no longer 'loves' her or has 'feelings for her' or whatever it is he says... because we've argued and changed so much since we've gotten married that it has 'killed his feelings for me'. He treats me like poision..... untouchable and we haven't had sex in months.. (not to be vulgar, but when HE is horny he musters up a bit of affection long enough for me to 'take care of him' - no sex, mind you.) Ugh. It's driving me insane...
I have always been a loose cannon, I'll be the first to admit.... I used to cut my wrists up terribly a few years ago but I met this wonderful man (mock) and he changed all that for me, until we got married... and he isn't the same person now. It just drives me crazy and I want this to work out but he is so cold, and bitter and treats me like I am dieased and I ask him to show me kindness and affection and he says he doesnt want to.
I just want to go back to cutting.. it really makes the pain go away from my heart for a little while and I forget my troubles. I'm so confused and sad.... no one seems to understand. :(
- Nikki

HI Nikki and welcome
Please dont go back to cutting.
*hugs
Sweetie, I am sorry to hear of your troubles.
Thank you both so much. I still feel terrible on the inside.. but there isn't much more I can do. I hate having to go to work and feel this way and all I can think about is this... it makes me sick to my stomach - the feeling inside.
There's so much more to our relationship beside what I've said... but I don't even know if it matters... he is just soo hurtful towards me. :( All I want is a hug or a kiss but he swears he just can't do it. Ugh.
I really appreciate your replies... I am trying hard not to cut because I know how silly it is, and painful... plus I don't want him to think I am psycho.. even though he already does for no good reason. Thank you guys again.
Nikki
No problem sweetie!
Don't worry about what he thinks okay? Do what's best for YOU.