Made it through the holiday

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Made it through the holiday
3
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 4:49am

Hi everyone,

Well I am REALLY glad the holidays are over. I don't like them at all. My depression has slipped into the deepest of deep and I fight everyday to mask the pain. These past few weeks that my husband has been off work have been just crazy. He's done a really great job handling his anger but he doesn't have to say anything. I know when he's mad. I know what he's thinking. The fact that I don't jump out of bed at 7am, get breakfast, get the baby changed etc. He does most of it and I can see the anger on him. Makes me feel like walking out. He tries so hard to understand but why should he when he does most of the work around here. When we do talk I attack before he gets a chance. I want to know why some days I can get up and do somethings, not everything but some and other days I just sit there wanting the world to end. The other day I cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom and the baby's room, I was so proud of myself. But thats the way things are suppose to be everyday. Why is it so hard for me to just do it?? I'd really love some answers to this.

Today I actually played a video game with my husband and kids. We laughed so hard, it was fun. They could hardly believe I actually played with them. Isn't that sad??

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 9:06am

Hi Sandy


The rollercoaster of depression IS one of the hardest things about it.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 3:42pm

Thank you Caly for your hugs and support. I really do hate the down days. My husband was ready to walk out last night. I really wanted everything to be over. I am not on any meds, our insurance is inactive till sometime this year. How can I help my husband understand what is going on inside my head? He feels like he can't take it anymore and I don't blame him. He doesn't like to see me suffer. I hate letting him down. It's too much on him to have to work, take care of the bills and take care of household things. Is there a message board or something HE can go to help him through it??

thanks again for everyones support. I truly feel like i'm not alone anymore.

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 5:07pm

I don't know of a board that he can post on like ours, however there is a website devoted to men with depression and he might find some of the articles and so forth there helpful in understanding what is happening.