Disturbing thoughts *triggers*
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Disturbing thoughts *triggers*
| Sun, 01-02-2005 - 1:08pm |
I've been having some really disturbing thoughts of harming myself lately, and I don't really understand why I am having them. I keep having these really elaborate fantasies about slitting my wrists. I imagine how it would feel and what my friends and family would think when they found me or heard about it. The strange thing, though, is that I don't ever really think about myself dying. I always imagine that someone will find me and save me, and I'll get all this attention from my friends and family. I know that this isn't a good way to get attention, but I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. Has anyone else ever had thoughts like this? Should I mention them to my therapist?

sweetie, you SHOULD tell your therapist about these thoughts as SOON as possible. They are not healthy, whether you think you would ever go through with it or not.
I know what you mean about not wanting to die, but getting attention. It bothers me when people say "Oh, she just did that for attention" in regards to a suicide attempt, like attempting it makes it not as valid if you were "just" doing it for attention. Whether you want to die or you want attention, the attempt is just as meaningful. Meaning that if you are willing to actually attempt suicide in the hopes of gaining attention, then life must not mean much to you. So it really doesn't matter why, in my opinion.
I don't know you, but it makes me sad to think of you with these thoughts in your head. I ask you to please talk to your doctor or therapist about it and be honest. Don't sugarcoat it or laugh it off. Thoughts may seem harmless but when you are feeling depressed, they can take over if your decision-making abilities are compromised.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
~Kiya
I agree. I think you should tell your therapist and pdoc immediately. These intrusive thoughts can be managed by medication and or therapy. You don't have to live with them bothering you like this. I had bad intrusive thoughts and they used a medication and it eased them away. I am so relieved not to have them floating in my head. We are here for you! Let us know what happens ok?
Julie
Julie
cl-jukie33 DID/MPD
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhmpdid
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Thanks for replying to my post. You brought up a really good point that I had never really even considered. I always thought that if I were just considering doing it for the attention, it didn't really mean that I was serious. I guess that it's serious either way, though, because you are still gambling with your life. If I slit my wrists, I could still die even if that isn't really my intention.
I really appreciate your kind words and support, too. You definitely made me think, and I agree totally with what you said. Thanks again!
go to ur pdoc he will know what helps thoughts like that. i dont know maybe a higher dose of prozac would help. maybe a new med is in order. pdocs (psychiatrists) have gone to medical school and done internships in the mental health field. they usaully have gained a lot of knowledge about which med helps what. good luck.
jukie
Julie
cl-jukie33 DID/MPD
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhmpdid
Follow me to the DID/MPD