New-can't decide

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
New-can't decide
3
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 10:01am
Hi!
I can't decide if I am depressed or have ADD, or something else weird. For one thing, I am just totally 100% unable to focus on things for very long. I am having a very tough time at work, my performance has gone waay down, since I can NOT concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. I HAVE to do other things constantly, like internet, daydream, walk, go to bathroom often, ect. But even these activites quickly bore and irriate me, and I have to try something else. It's much worse (torture) here at work since I am unable to just get up and move around when I want. Unfortunately my job is largely measured on production. I spent most of yesterday fantasizing, which has become my favorite past time. My work quality has gotten simply terrible because I can't focus on the many, many, details my job requires no matter how hard I try. I can concentrate on ONE detail, but completely forget the other ten or twenty steps! So I do well on that ONE detail, and get an error on another. It's driving me nuts! Lately it has even affected me at home. I used to be very scrupulous about paying my bills on time. Now I can't find them because I've thrown them somewhere, and I've had a few late payments, because I simply forgot! I was appalled, because I am not only responsible for my bills, but my husbands as well, since he can't manage money at all. I've tried to organize things, but it's a futile effort! Then a few months ago, I went on a WILD spending spree, bought two $700.00 dogs, a new car (now have THREE car payments!), a house which doubled our payments, (even though we had only been in our other house about 18 months), big screen TV, 2 trips to Alaska, and Lord knows what else! Totally uncharacteristic of me! Well needless to say I overdrew the account nearly $1000.00 and charged close to $5,000.00, (charge card is now up to $10,000.00) and we had to borrow from my husbands retirement account to pay the bills. I can't figure out if I'm manic, ADD, depressed, or just plain weird! Any suggestions?
Thanks for listening to me rant/ramble!
Jodie

Jodie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 11:42am
Hi Jodie!

Do you have a therapist and/or pdoc? I think a good start would be to find a professional who could help you discover if you have ADD and/or depression.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 2:18pm

Hi and welcome


Well one thing I can say is your not "weird" hehe I dont have to be a doctor for that.


I do think though that you need to start by seeing a doctor sweetie. First a medical doctor to rule out any medical reasons for your lack of ability to concentrate. Once you get a clean bill of health there I would talk to him or her about seeing a therapist and trying to get a handle on what is really going on.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 3:19pm
Thanks for the reponses!
Yeah, that spending spree (which is TOTALLY unlike me) really upset me. Now we don't really have any money to spend so I haven't repeated it. I get the "willies" every time I even LOOK at my credit card! One of the main reasons I can't concentrate is I prefer to fantasize. Sometimes the fantasys are preferable to reality so I have a hard time not "drifting off". I've always been moody and have had psych problems (including the big "S" word) in my past, starting in early adolesence. But it's been more than 10 years since my last "episode"! I thought it was over. I am recently married, and trying to conceive. Perhaps the big ugly "infertiliy" diagnosis has me in the doldrums. I have recently changed insurances, and my old therapist is not on it. It can be very stressful trying to find a new one. I am still in the trying to decide on one phase!
Thanks again!

Jodie