New to this board.

Avatar for svetlana1833
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
New to this board.
3
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 12:09pm

Greetings ...

I am new to this board - having fought depression all my adult life (and part of my childhood), I've done the counseling and the meds, which have helped, but sometimes I still need to talk. My husband is very supportive, but he doesn't always "get it." He doesn't understand that I don't have to have a reason to be depressed. It just happens. And no matter how well I manage it most of the time, every now and then it happens with a vengeance.

I spent most of the holidays in tears for reasons that don't make any logical sense. But that's just it - I don't have a lick of logical sense when I hit that downward spiral. I'm beginning to recover but right now I am at that place where I Just Don't Care. I don't care what happens and nothing seems to have much meaning. The fact that I am aware that I feel this way is somewhat encouraging, but I still don't like feeling this way! Time passes like cold molasses in January.

What do y'all do when you don't give a flip and everything feels like you're swimming in mud?

Svetlana

Avatar for jukie33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 1:32pm

All I can think of is FLOAT!


But that is a hard thing to achieve with mud. I have recently read (maybe on this board) about mental imagery and I want to try that except my 5 yr old dd is an interruption to the process. But I take meds and they had to up them for the holidays. That hasnt happened in two years. My pdoc is also looking into adding a med. NOT looking forward to that. Can't barely afford what I have now. Anyway coming here and posting like you have is a way to start the floating process because you're trying to get out of the mud. But like with quicksand if you struggle with it you get deeper, but if you float (mental imagery,meditation, prayer) you are more likely to get through it. We will be here for you!


Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 2:25pm

Hi Svetlana!


Welcome to the board.

*hugs             

Avatar for svetlana1833
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 2:46pm

Thanks y'all ... I practice yoga and meditation pretty regularly, and that has helped me a lot. And, I am looking forward to my next semester of graduate school which starts in two weeks. (I decided to go back for a Masters 15 years after the fact!) It's just sometimes I get so--- I dunno --- discouraged, for no really good reason at all. I try to focus on the positive, but that doesn't always work. And then, of course, I beat myself up for feeling ungrateful for my blessings. A vicious spiral, to say the least.

Well. . . onward and upward, I suppose.

Svetlana