New...depression different in men?
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| Tue, 01-04-2005 - 2:26pm |
Hi all, nice to meet you!
I've been struggling in the last couple months with a very moody BF. In the summertime he was warm and wonderful, and now, all of a sudden, he doesn't call, has much less interest in getting together, and is in general very irritable and "prickly". Also, his sex drive is very low compared to usual for him. And now that I think about it, he was just like this at this time last year, between say, mid-December and April. He also seems bored...asks to receive email from me and then won't answer it...has to be begged to go out to do something (we don't live together), etc.
I was starting to think maybe our relationship was ending, that he didn't love me anymore. But to that he says, "What are you talking about?"
Now I am wondering if maybe he is depressed. He doesn't seem sad per se. More like irritable and bored, unmotivated. He was diagnosed with PTSD last year (related to a serious car crash) and I also suspect he has a mild brain injury. He was prescribed anti-psychotic meds at one point but they did nothing, which didn't surprise me, because he doesn't seem psychotic (nor aggressive). He's macho in many ways, but is really quite kind-hearted. He had an extremely traumatic childhood including physical and sexual abuse.
He was also prescribed Effexor but wouldn't take it, because he said he was not depressed. He said his moods don't bother him; he would rather feel happy and angry, normal ups and downs (he claims to never feel sad) rather than flat, which is something I can understand.
Anyway, this is a long way of asking, does depression in men always present as sadness, or is it different in men? Can it manifest itself as anger? And can it be seasonal, i.e., worse in winter?
I love my BF...I would like to help him, but he is 45 years old (much older than me) and I don't feel that it's my place to tell him what to do...I have never known a depressed person before, it doesn't run in my family...
advice? first steps? any men here?
barefoot

Hi Barefoot
Welcome to the board!
Yes depression is very different in men. Both in how they show it and how they react and deal with it.
*hugs