Soul - Spirit Searching
Find a Conversation
Soul - Spirit Searching
| Wed, 01-05-2005 - 7:42pm |
I dont quite know what emoticon to use for this post.
| Wed, 01-05-2005 - 7:42pm |
I dont quite know what emoticon to use for this post.
Pages
(((((Trac))))), I've been exactly where you are.
Hi Trac: I am glad your therapist got you thinking as that is how we change for the better.
The main interest I have had for over 20 years now is exercising, I LOVE it and do some type of exercise daily.
I start every day out with several daily meditation books and some Christian ones, and I love that part of the day, dh is still asleep, I have my coffee and do my daily reading.
And not sure it really counts as a hobby, but being in Alanon helps get me get out of the house, and have met some neat ladies through that and we go out to lunch, and a few I email in between time.
I think it is time for you to make time for yourself, your kids are old enough to let them go. I hope you find something to make your heart sing. Take care, Love, Josie.
((((Trac))))
I was
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
p.s. I too don't believe in New Year's Resolutions because after
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Dear Tracy,
I know exactly what you mean. As the mother of an 8 y/o and a 3 y/o, their needs come first and mine, last. My dh works a lot, so it's often all up to me. I've given up the things that nurture me (choir, yoga) because they happen in the evenings and I can't count on dh to be home. I started going to a new and very different non-denominational church a few months ago and I LOVE it--it has brought me back to God. They have a gospel choir that just does concerts a few times a year, so it's not the same commitment as a choir that does 3-hour rehearsals every week, and then another 2.5 hours of practice and singing on Sundays. It is SO nice to be singing again. I am planning to join the Y again when my dd goes back to school, and I'll be volunteering at her school library one day a week (love it). I'm still looking for work, b/c that actually nurtures me, too. But of course, with the kids, it can't be a 60-hour a week job b/c that won't enable me to care for them the way I want. Again, they come first (grrr!).
I think that you know what you need to do, and you just have to be committed to doing it. That's the hard part! How about painting on your own? Could you take an advanced class and just be the best? Would you be interested in taking an art history class at a local university? Why not check out their cont ed offerings? You are so talented, it would be a shame if you didn't pursue that part of you.
I hope that this can help give you some ideas. I wonder if we could start a sort of support group on the board for sticking to goals that we set for ourselves this year. What do you think?
~Nicola
Aren't we girls SO good at taking care of everyone but us? And don't get me wrong - I'm a nurturer by nature (even though I don't have any kids - I have dogs instead!) and I enjoy doing things to take care of people (and pets). BUT it is sometimes TOO easy to forget WE need taking care of too.
I have gotten better at taking care of Me, but sometimes I still feel like a big jerk when I tell Mister I'm going out to do errands by myself, or I'm going to take a class, or something. He doesn't have any hobbies that don't involve me that get him OUT of the house, so if I want a day to myself, I've got to take a vacation day from work. Which is all right, really - I've been at my job long enough that I get plenty of vacation time, so I can take a day here and there Just Because I Feel Like It.
I practice yoga nearly every day, and I read a lot. I also write in a journal. I have creative hobbies that allow me a sense of accomplishment, and that helps.
Lately though, I've been in that mode of "who am I and why am I here." Talking to other folks about that, it seems like it's futile to ask, because apparently that's one of those questions that may never get answered. Sometimes I feel like there's something missing and I don't know what it is, and when I'm depressed, it haunts me terribly. I don't know if there is even an answer to that, and where I would find it if there were.
Tracy,
A few suggestions in your soul/spirit search:
Volunteering-it can be more fulfilling even though you're helping others. Maybe finding a place that doesn't require set hours would help you feel more in control. I'm not sure where you live, but United Way often has volunteer opportunities that you could pick from.
Massage-it helps to get in touch with your body. Also somatic therapy has really helped me to find that mind/body connection which has made me more appreciative of myself and what I'm capable of.
Art-whatever kind of art you do expand on that. Be the best at whatever art you enjoy. You mentioned quilting also. If that makes you happy, do it. It doesn't matter what you plan on spending your retirement doing, by then you just might be an expert.
"Me time"-we give so much time for others and we schedule time for appointments and time for other people. But we don't mark in our calendars time for us. To start mark 1/2 hour of time for yourself. Do anything you want that only includes what makes you feel good. That means taking a walk, going for coffee, watching your fav show on tv, taking a bath/hot shower, etc.
Through all of the suggestions we all give you just make sure that you do something to find your soul/spirit that makes you feel good. If you have a thought or feeling, call it what it is, I'm feeling anxious, happy, sad, I'm enjoying myself, I hate this. That might help you to get more in touch with yourself. Make a list of the things you'd like to do before you die. That helped me to reevaluate what was most important to me. If I want to travel to India before I die (I do) then I'd take the following steps: go to the library/bookstore and find books on India, check out what's available on the net, start saving a little money each month (sometimes $5 is enough), do a search on plane tickets, etc. Make little steps toward that bigger goal.
Good luck in whatever helps you.
Sara
Tracy,
I dont have any hobbies come tot hink of it which is sad..
But I amke sure that I work out everyday except wednesdays cause I am in therapy til almost 8 and then by the time I get home I am in my pj's and watching Lost which I love...
So anyways I guess working out is my hobby but there are small things that I am working towards but I am keeping them to myself for fear that if I verbalize them I will stop the baby steps but they are good things..
I have a pation for the law court cases criminal profiling ect....so that is kinda a hobby a weird one but still an interest of mine..
As for your art classes that you are looking into I would go into the ones that you feel that you are not up to speed with I bet ya that you are just as good if not better than the people in those classes sometimes we or at least I do this I talk myself down andout of things I am so good at telling myself I am not smart enough good enough ect...well saturday is my first baby step move and I am going to prove to myself that I am good enough and smart enough and I think that you should take that step and enroll in those classes...you re a great artist I remember you posted someof your work here on the board and it was amazing...
Volunteering is great too
try to set aside one hour each day for yourself take a hot bath light sented candels or insense and just veg out turn off the phone the computer tell your kids to leave you alone and just relax for a while..
I hope that you are able to find you again and I hope that you stop putting yourself to the side you deserve happiness and peace and relaxation just like veryone else does.
Erin
Tracy,
yes, that's my world too. I work full time, have a house, a husband and 3 girls ages 6,4 and 2. And I take care of everybody but myself. I don't know who I am anymore besides being a mom, a coworker or a wife. Who is this person that goes through every day step by step taking care of all the necessary things, but nothing necessary for myself. At least you are moving in the right direction by recognizing the problem. I hope you can find yourself and your true soul.
Hugs Ilka
I think finding a private outlet for creativity is a good idea. We mothers tend to put ourselves last far too often. Guilty as well. I am a full time Stay At Home Mum and do very little for myself. I am trying to get involved in the community here - I have only been living in Abu Dhabi for a few months, and initially I did nothing but stay indoors. Since my older daughter started school, I have been trying to get more involved in stuff, like church and in the mothers group attached the school. This has helped me starting to develop friendships, but its not enough. My husband is a paramedic and works 24 hrs shifts, so there are times when I have only the kids around me. Because we know so few people here, I have absolutely no babysitters or anything. I haven't been out on my own for more than an hour or two at a time when dh is home to look after the girls. And the two of us haven't been out on a "date" or anything on our own for over a year.
The only thing I have which is "mine" - my personal outlet - is writing. I have always wanted to be a journalist or features writer for a magazine, but ended up doing more PR related stuff. I hated my job, and I am actually very glad (at times) to be a SAHM. I am now writing for "me" - its unpaid, and only once a week, but I now write a weekly column for a friends website on life as an expat in the UAE. If any one is interested, you can find my columns on http://www.tashi tagg.com/correspondents/desert/desert.asp (just delete the space between tashi and tagg otherwise it thinks I am swearing)
Pages