Fight with boyfriend *trigger*
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| Fri, 01-07-2005 - 4:42pm |
I had a fight with my boyfriend last night because his ex-girlfriend is accusing me of calling her and hanging up. I don't even know her last name or the town she lives in, though, so I definitely don't have her phone number. He said that he defended me to her, but he's also been pretty sympathetic with her about this whole business, too. She finally called the police, which I'm glad of, because then they can prove I didn't do it.
Anyway, to get to the point, the fight with my boyfriend was awful, and I ended up cutting myself a couple of times on my ankle while we were on the phone. I threatened to break up with him if she ever accuses me of anything again. We finally sort of resolved the fight, but I'm still really angry at his ex-girlfriend, whom I've never even met and don't even know. And I'm also angry at my boyfriend for letting this happen to me, because he should just stop talking to his ex-girlfriend. He doesn't have feelings for her anymore, and she just tries to cause trouble between us.
I'm pretty angry at myself, too, for cutting myself. But it felt so good, and it helped me sleep. I hate cutting myself in some ways, but in other ways I love it. It's really messed up. Should I tell my therapist that I'm actually cutting myself again and not just thinking about it?

Of course, you should absolutely tell your therapist. No doubt in my mind. Cutting yourself is serious and needs help. Please continue to post here and at the SI board. We need you to know that we are here to listen. You can tell us anything, but know that we need you to seek out the right ways to help yourself.
Keep us posted and see if there is anyone here that you can connect to. It may help, it always helps me to try and contribute to the board.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Co-CL Depression Support Board
Hi Pinkstar,
Why would your therapist want to instatutionalize you??? What else is going on??? You need to be honest with what you are going through to find the help you need. I cut myself too, but only when I've been drinking. I've discovered that if I don't drink excessively, I won't fall into the depression pit and I won't want to cut myself. In the past, when I've cut myself in some drunken stupor, it has scared me because I don't actually recall the cutting. Its like I come too after its over and I've cut myself up. Your therapist is there to help you and if you are a danger to yourself, your therapist is going to try to protect you.
And just my opinion from experience, a fight with my boyfriend will not trigger me to cut myself. I've learned to love myself more than that. My boyfriend is NOT worth hurting myself that way.
I wish you all the best in your struggles.
Brightest Blessings,
Annika
Brightest Blessings, Annika
Yes, I have to agree with what Lisa says (wow, it seems like I do a lot of agreeing around here, but it's because you all give such great advice!). Self-injury is always something to be taken seriously, and you really need to be honest with your therapist about it in order to get help. Please do keep us posted, and please reach out for the help that is available to you.
Hugs,
Rose