Late night tears
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| Sat, 01-08-2005 - 12:07pm |
Last night I absolutely fell apart. I had an awful week at work. The week made me realize that I have to find a different job, sooner than later, that I can't make it work for me. I have only been there 4 months so I feel awful about it. I would be letting some people down, and I feel like an idiot even though there was no way I could have known this job would be like this. I have been looking for jobs every night after work and I fear that I won't ever find one that I actually like, even a little.
I so badly want to move out of here too. It only reminds me of my bf because I moved here for him. ANd now he is gone and won't talk to me still. Every day that goes by makes it sting even more. We were best friends for so long, and I was positive we were going to get married. I guess I was wrong, but I wish I could talk to him. I miss my best friend. ANd I am so hurt that he is treating me like this. He's been through a lot too, losing his mom, his job, but that is no excuse to hurt other people knowingly. I don't even know how to contact him. If I leave a message, I have no way of knowing if he even still checks that email or voicemail. It hurts so much to know I am going unheard.
I have to drop my dog off at my parent's house today. I'll be out of town early next week for a stupid work thing. I am so mad that I have to do it because it isn't even my job to do these things (it is sales, and I am definitely not a sales type person). And expectations aren't going to be lowered so I will still be having to bust out a lot of work after the full day sales stuff. The worst thing is being away from my dog. In this world, he is the only one I can count on. No matter what, he is there for me. If I need it, he doesn't mind getting lots of hugs. Without him, I am a mess, and I have to leave him tomorrow at my parents and drive back here alone, not seeing him until Wednesday. It seems stupid, I know, but I am miserable. I worry about him, and even though I know he will be fine with my parents, I cannot deal with being away from him, even for a day.
I just wish I knew when things would start getting better. The second I think it might be ok, everything crumbles again.
Seya

((((Seya)))), it's not the least bit silly that you love your dog, or that you're going to miss him.
Hi Spidergirl
I have to disagree with you that there is anything wrong with Seya missing her dog when she has to be away.
*hugs