Late night tears

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Late night tears
4
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 12:07pm

Last night I absolutely fell apart. I had an awful week at work. The week made me realize that I have to find a different job, sooner than later, that I can't make it work for me. I have only been there 4 months so I feel awful about it. I would be letting some people down, and I feel like an idiot even though there was no way I could have known this job would be like this. I have been looking for jobs every night after work and I fear that I won't ever find one that I actually like, even a little.

I so badly want to move out of here too. It only reminds me of my bf because I moved here for him. ANd now he is gone and won't talk to me still. Every day that goes by makes it sting even more. We were best friends for so long, and I was positive we were going to get married. I guess I was wrong, but I wish I could talk to him. I miss my best friend. ANd I am so hurt that he is treating me like this. He's been through a lot too, losing his mom, his job, but that is no excuse to hurt other people knowingly. I don't even know how to contact him. If I leave a message, I have no way of knowing if he even still checks that email or voicemail. It hurts so much to know I am going unheard.

I have to drop my dog off at my parent's house today. I'll be out of town early next week for a stupid work thing. I am so mad that I have to do it because it isn't even my job to do these things (it is sales, and I am definitely not a sales type person). And expectations aren't going to be lowered so I will still be having to bust out a lot of work after the full day sales stuff. The worst thing is being away from my dog. In this world, he is the only one I can count on. No matter what, he is there for me. If I need it, he doesn't mind getting lots of hugs. Without him, I am a mess, and I have to leave him tomorrow at my parents and drive back here alone, not seeing him until Wednesday. It seems stupid, I know, but I am miserable. I worry about him, and even though I know he will be fine with my parents, I cannot deal with being away from him, even for a day.

I just wish I knew when things would start getting better. The second I think it might be ok, everything crumbles again.

Seya

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
In reply to: seya79
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 8:20pm

((((Seya)))), it's not the least bit silly that you love your dog, or that you're going to miss him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2005
In reply to: seya79
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 1:00am
this grieving you do for your dog when you're not with him/her, is just pathetic. HOnestly, what are you saying?? A dog is the only thing in life that makes you happy??? if that's true then so be it, but i think you have much more going for you than that.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: seya79
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 1:13am
it's weird, lots of this sounds like i wrote it! and if the 79 in your name is the year you were born, that's the same as me too! if you hate your job, don't worry- you have your whole life in front of you to have other jobs- hopefully one that you will love and it might take a hile to find it. i have had so many jobs lately, but what is more important to me is that i am making sure i am happy and not settling. breaking up is awful. i am learning that some old relationships turn into friendships, some disappear completely and it is usually for a good reason even if it doesn't feel like it at the time, and you never know- one could turn out to be "the one" at a later point. any guy who is able to let you go is not someone worth wanting back. remind yourself of that! i am the same with my dog- who is a childhood dog so he lives with my parents. he is getting old and i am so scared of what i will do without him. i ran into the ex today, and guess what- it is better to not talk to them at all. just know that you are not alone, and that you will feel better. dry your tears- and here is a (((hug))))). i'm bummed about the same stuff tonight- so it is weird to even read yours being so similar. so you are not alone and we will both get through this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: seya79
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 9:53am

Hi Spidergirl


I have to disagree with you that there is anything wrong with Seya missing her dog when she has to be away.

*hugs