need some support my story (trigger)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2005
need some support my story (trigger)
4
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 10:12pm
i was diagnossed as having depression about a year ago. things in my life have gone not to well in the time since then. since then i was fired from a job where i worked for almost 6 years and called a liar and told i couldnt be trusted anymore by people who did not work with me. i never did anything wrong the whole time i was there but they went through a big phase of firing people especially ones who had been there a long time. at that point i lost my insurance so i wasnt able to go to the dr or see my therapist. there was times in the past year when i barely made it. i got a job working at a superstore but things were still not good and i just wasnt happy. i finally got a job that seems to be ok. i just keep feeling like im constantly doing things wrong. im sill very down at times. i do have insurance now but i havent been able to get myself to call and make an appointment again. ive tried but i just cant do it. i get all anxious when i think about going to a dr. i havent been able to handle things well lately. when i am home all i do is lay in bed. i cant sleep i just lay there thinking. i dont know exactly what i am asking but i just feel like no one cares and dont know where to go from here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:15pm

Welcome to the board, Tricia!

First I want to commend you for being able to get two new jobs in the midst of an obviously major depression. It's amazing that you can get up and go to work every day, as well. When you are depressed, even taking a shower can be a monumental effort.

Depression is a chemical imbalance -- a physiological disease. It can start in different ways, but it continues because our chemistry has changed. That keeps us in the spiral of negative self-talk and an overriding sense of pain and meaninglessness in life.

As debilitating as depression is, it is very treatable. Medication can have a profound effect. Sometimes it's hard to find the right medication, and most anitdepressants have some big side effects. But many on this board have found that the side effects are worth the sense of peace we have gained on antidepressants.

Antidepressants work most effectively in conjunction with therapy than either works on it's own. One of form of therapy has been proven to have more success with depression than any other form of therapy. It is call Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It helps you to learn how you judge the world in perfectionistic, black-and-white terms. It teaches you how to take control of your mind, instead of letting the negative habits keep you at the bottom of that dark pit.

Cognitive therapy changed my life. I had always thought that my mind was right and whatever I thought or how I looked at things was just how I was. I learned that I could recognize when I was following a negative thought pattern and make myself stop it. I had always had a tendency to dwel on hurts from many years past and fume over the wrongs done to me. It would bring me really down. I felt like nothing was worth doing in such a crappy world.

My therapist helped me see how I overgeneralize and take things personally that aren't at all personal. Antidepressants had already taken some of the edge off of my depression, but a major loss had sent me back into the abyss.

After 6 months of therapy I was in a better place than I'd ever been, able to start using the techniques on my own. Exercise brought me even more happiness.

In fact, studies have proven that people who exercise have more success curing their depression than those who are in therapy and taking antidepressants. It is nature's own cure for depression. Endorphins are our bodies' own antidepressants. The problem is that it's very hard to get depressed people to exercise!

I hope that my story helps. I had been in a major depression for over 6 years. I had experienced depression for almost all of my life. Now I'm more peaceful and have more happiness than ever. I'm even a counselor now, finishing my master's in therapy and doing therapy with abused women in a state agency. I love helping people with depression because I know the disease so intimately. And I know that it can be cured. I always thought that I was the one person who couldn't be cured. If I could be, than anyone can.

I'm glad you found us. In addition to posting your personal questions and needs, you can check in with the community every day at our daily roll call in the section below.

All My Best,
MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2005
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:56am
i am right there with you. i feel so isolated and alone right now. i just really need to get out of here and go do something. i can't even leave the house...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 9:49am

Hi Trica!


Welcome to the board!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:14pm

(((((Tricia))))), you're wrong that no one cares.