Debating therapy, meds (poss. trigs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Debating therapy, meds (poss. trigs)
4
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 12:17am

Hi, everybody...I'm hesitant to post something about myself because I haven't been around much for you all and because I know my current "issues" aren't too bad, but I'm just not sure what to do about therapy and meds anymore...I wrote about it in Sunday's roll call post as well, so I'll try not to go into all the details.

But to sum it up, the appointments have become a big hassle with my schedule and my anxiety about driving at peak traffic times...it even looks like I might need to skip classes in order to make an appointment, something I'd definitely rather not do. But I guess it would be worth it if I felt more hopeful that seeing this psychiatrist (whom I see for both therapy and meds) will help me out of this rut.

For therapy, she focuses on the fact that I felt inferior to others growing up...but so far we really haven't talked about how to change this. And she did say that she'd rather have me see a therapist she recommended for therapy...but any other therapists are not covered by my insurance, and I can't afford it otherwise. Of course, I haven't had very many sessions with her, but still...

As for meds, she's suggested putting me on a mood stabilizer in the past (when I was having lots of ups and downs)...some of them would also help prevent my migraines, hopefully. At the time, I told her I wanted to wait at least until my final exams were over to start anything new. But now I'm not so sure that I want to deal with a new medication (my main motivation for going on it would probably be my migraines, anyway!), and I'm not sure at all that I need it or that it would help. (Plus one she suggested has the common side effect of lots of weight gain, which I refuse to go through).

I'm just generally feeling somewhat hopeless and very frustrated with myself...my psychiatrist once said she thought I had more control over my moods than I thought, and she is probably right...and even that makes me mad at myself for continuing to feel this way! It seems like not much in the past has really changed the patterns of my moods...I guess my main hope comes from the thought that maybe my depression will change into a week or two of hyper-ness and happiness, as has happened a few times before...but this current down state of mine seems like it may be sticking around for a while.

What does scare me somewhat is the increase in my "bad" images and thoughts lately...I want to avoid mentioning anything triggering, so I guess I'll just leave it at that. I would guess that I won't act on these thoughts, but they are often so strong and so tempting that it takes a lot of effort to resist them.

Sorry, as always I'm incapable of writing a post without including every detail! I tried, though. I also apologize for not being as helpful around here as I could be...I do keep you all in my thoughts.

Thanks for any suggestions or ideas...I'm not exactly sure what my question was, if I had one, but any thoughts would be great!

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 7:21am

Hi Rose


I'm not quite sure what your question was either but Im glad you posted and I always love that you include so many details.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 1:44pm

Thanks, Caly...I really appreciate the support! I guess my question would be something like, how do you know if it is "worth" continuing in therapy and in trying new meds. I'd like to look for more proactive therapy, but I can't because of my insurance situation... this is the only psychiatrist/therapist who is available and on my school's insurance.

I may check out that workbook that you mention...I did have the "Feeling Good Handbook" at one point, as well as several years probably (!) of CBT at different times...but I never seemed able to accept the ideas very well. Maybe I'll try again, though.

Thanks again!

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 1:45pm

What is CBT?

The Unicorn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 5:12pm

CBT is Cognitive Behavior Therapy


Its a more proactive form of therapy then the standard "talk" method, that actually helps you identify your negative thoughts as you are having them and then examine them to understand they arent true and then come up with more positive thoughts.

*hugs