where do u think i stand?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
where do u think i stand?
4
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 10:20am

hey,

ive posted here many times and you guys have helped so much in the past. basically, im 20 yrs old from the uk and ive been with my fiance for like nearly 3yrs were friends for 2yrs before we got together. anyways, ive had a very complicated and messed up past and the present isnt good either. at the moment im in my final yr at uni and i have exams, i hadnt seen my dad for 5yrs as he walked out on us and prior to this we had a v.bad relationship, he was extremely abusive with me which later on led me to do coke and other drugs. anyhow, ive started talkin to my dad again it's been nearly 2months and it upset my mum so she doesnt speak to me anymore and it kills, she says mean things and i do love my mum dearly. i stayed at my dad;s place and read his messed up diary where he said he's gettin us all one by one.

my fiance knows what im going through and how i feel so alone, neither one of my parents truly want me and i have exams and other things stressing me out like money!. three days ago i was on the phone to him and he sounded down i tried to cheer him up and he was like, i dnt wana talk bye! i found it rude and hurtful and i said to him, im jst tryin to be nice. he called me back sayin sorry, but it was too late...it hurt and i felt rejected. so i told him to leave me alone! the next day he txt me askin if im ok. i didnt reply and then i said to him i feel unloved and rejected. and then the other nite i txt him sayin, it feels like he's had enough of me etc and he said he hadnt..but since then he hasnt called me or txt me at all..it's been two days and i wait for him to contact me. he usually does but i think he's left me...it hurts but i cant feel sadness ive become immune to it..

why doesnt he jst contact me, he knws what a hard time im having right now? has he finally had enough of my life which is full of so much drama? i think it's best in a way, i love him soo much and want him to be happy and i cant make myself happy and ill jst drag him down...i miss him though very much so..do u think he'll ever contact me again? or has he actually gone?? i dnt want to call him first because he says i can be a hassle and too much and i usually am the first one to get in touch even when im not in the wrong..

sorry this is soo long jst feel confused, need to revise for exams, get money for law skool too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 10:35am
can someone pls answer to my post..
Avatar for jukie33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 3:13pm

Sami,


I would say txt him. Show him you love him. Tell him you need him. He was having a bad day and everyone has a right to a bad day. He obviously loves you or he wouldn't have stayed so long. My hubby loves me even though I have chronic severe depression.


I'm sorry about your mom and dad. Those things I can't even help with but I can tell you that I am here to listen. Hope things ease up for you.


Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 3:29pm

((((Sweetie))) I am so sorry that your post got buried.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 5:34am

hey u guys,

thank u sooo much for ur advice, me n my man worked it out i did txt him..

thanks for all ur help and support.

xxxxxx