I just dont know who to talk to...
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I just dont know who to talk to...
| Fri, 01-14-2005 - 1:54am |
This is my first time posting here; I was clinically diagnosed with depression in 1999, and I went through all the meds my office knew about then, Wellbutin, Prozac, Effexor, Paxil, and Im sure some others, when the Dr. finally told me there was only 1 left which was Zoloft. It worked great, when I took it, and I have been on and off for several years. I have been taking it now for a few months and I dont feel like its doing anything for me. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I turned 30 this year, who knows. I have 2 great kids, and a husband, but I feel like Ive stepped out of my life looking in and I dont like what I see. I am angry all the time, I snap at any given moment, I know that ive scared my kids at times with yelling (and screaming im ashamed to admit) and Im feeling like im sufficating. Ive tried just staying still, not doing anything so that at least im "neutral" and not doing more harm. But I dont sleep, Ive gained so much weight which doesnt help too, and Im crying over the silliest things. Ive even thought of leaving so that my kids dont have to be around me anymore, and they wont grow to hate me or be afraid of me. I shake at times, coming from the inside, and I certainly dont have any friends to talk to. I have my own business I love, but at times it takes me away from the kids for weekends and I feel very guilty about that. They have been with me since they were born, and they cry when I leave, even though Im only going 75 miles away. I just dont know what to do. Ive started distancing myself from family and just hibernating in the house most of the time. The Dr. I usually see seems like a flake, and she even told me last time I was there that they are only allowed 10 minutes per room to talk. If anyone has some advice, Im all ears! I just hate feeling this way all the time!

I know exactly how you feel cos I feel the same. I'm also the same age (31) with two kids. I also went to a stupid doctor first, and changed last week and now apart from just meds I am getting counselling. Maybe its time to look for a 2nd opinion?